Hey kids! Hope everyone is priming up for a fun holiday weekend, and bracing themselves for the spooky reality that Notre Dame will be playing a 1-6 team in San Antonio for no reason at all.
At any rate, the fellas want to send their best in video form, so here you go.
A cupcake game in a neutral site stadium that promises to be 90% Notre Dame fans. What could possibly go wrong?
Well, I'm glad you asked. It looks like muppet Golden Tate might have some problems joining the team in San Antonio after a surprising encounter with airport security during his flight to San Antonio. Sure, it's difficult to pack for a vacation at this time of year, but there's a couple things you need to make sure you don't have in your bag before you show up at the airport... like plutonium. I'm just sayin'.
So... that happened. Sigh. I know what you're all thinking, that I'm just going to freak out, but that just goes to show you have no clue how deeply jaded and cynical we've all become. With years of hard work, irishoutsider and I have found a way to find something grimly amusing about every sidelong blow that fate sees fit to deal us.
Of course, the same does not apply to our fuzzy athletes and coach. Needless to say, the suffering they have experienced in the aftermath of this hearbreaking loss has been indescribable... Indescribable, that is, until now, where we find the one and only proper way to describe it: with a novelty cake and a video montage:
If you're like us, you'll understand how torturously long the bye week is. Sitting around on Saturday watching other teams play football is like watching your wife salsa dance with a dozen swarthy gentlemen in leather pants while you sit behind one-way glass tied to a chair with a dirty sweat sock duct taped over your mouth. I think we can all relate to that.
As bad as it is for fans, though, you can probably imagine that the players are twice as antsy all week, especially when the upcoming game is against your most hated rival of all time. Needless to say, the excitement in South Bend is palpable, and in case there was any doubt, allow me to present video proof in muppet form.
Notre Dame played a pretty thrilling game last week against Washington, but if you happened to be watching it on television in the Chicago metro area, like your beloved narrator, you were treated to a network programming blunder of truly Heidi Bowl-esque proportions. You see, while the fans in the stadium were treated to a thrilling overtime drive by the Fighting Irish, NBC viewers got to see a cutaway to Access Hollywood that lasted right up until the Irish scored their overtime touchdown.
After burning my television, killing a drifter, and stuffing his body into an oil drum I proceeded to dump in the Des Plaines river, the anger had subsided enough in my bones for me to, with trembling hand, record those last fateful minutes of the game and post them on the internet. I dare you to try and watch this without being thrown into a murderous rage. It's just not possible.
