Saturday, April 08, 2006

Dink & Dunk: Vegas, Baby, Vegas Edition

Me? I like to do me some gambling. Nothing too wild, and only once in a while, but I really like gambling. When I get liquored up enough, there's nothing better than piling up three idiots into the old Chevy Cavalier and shooting down the Chicago Skyway to Binion's Horseshoe Casino in Hammond, IN -- a scant 50 mile drive with no traffic at three in the morning.

Now, I have a friend (and I'm sure all of you have one of these friends) who is just awful at gambling. I'm talking about the guy who always loses his shirt no matter what the contest is -- craps, blackjack, slot machines, the office NCAA pool, or even making bets on how much precipitation there will be in the month of October. There's always that one guy who always, invariably fails at every single type of game of chance. Well, here's a salute to you, Mister Can't Win a Bet to Save my Sorry Life. Your charitable donations to every office pool and riverboat casino are keeping the gambling industry afloat... pun intended. So crack open a Bud Light, and hopefully you'll have enough dough to pay up the tab.

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