Monday, June 19, 2006

What it Lacks in Substance, it Makes Up for in Heart

Here's a story too bizarre to make up. It appears that the loveable scamp Daniel "Rudy" Ruettiger, of Rudy fame (shown on the right in an undated publicity photo), has branched out from the inspirational speaker business and become a fruit juice tycoon. What, you ask, separates Rudy juice from the nearly endless sea of competitors? Well, according to their publicity releases, Rudy juice is a health-conscious, low-sugar drink aiming to capture that lucrative health nut ten year-old demographic. You, too, can be a strapping five foot nothin', one hundred and nothin' sparkplug for pennies a serving on the Rudy diet.

Not to take a cheap shot at anybody's physical appearance, as we're very much above that at the House Rock Built, but judging by Mr. Ruettiger's current weight class, we're guessing he's more of a sucrose-infused Squeez-It fan himself, and probably takes his Rudy Revolution with several heaping spoonfuls of sugar.

Five bucks to the first person who can come up with a dynamite cocktail involving Rudy Juice. I call this one the "Blue & Gold"