Blogpoll: The Deeper The Wound, The Harder I Swoon And Wish That That Was Me

Rank	Team	Delta
1	LSU	--
2	Southern Cal	2
3	Florida	2
4	Oklahoma	2
5	California	2
6	West Virginia	--
7	Clemson	1
8	Oregon	1
9	Boston College	12
10	Alabama	16
11	South Carolina	2
12	Texas	2
13	Wisconsin	2
14	Ohio State	4
15	Kentucky	11
16	South Florida	3
17	Missouri	9
18	Michigan State	8
19	Penn State	3
20	Cincinnati	6
21	Rutgers	8
22	Nebraska	7
23	Arizona State	3
24	Hawaii	1
25	Texas A&M	3
Dropped Out: Georgia Tech (#12), UCLA (#14), Arkansas (#17), Louisville (#20), Georgia (#23), Washington (#24).

Happy fun times! Week three is in the books and my ballot is up. At first glance, I'm seeing a lot of green and red arrows. I'm not completelyl schizophrenic, I just think that this third week has given us good cause to re-evaluate the top teams, cut losses with the dogs at the bottom, and reward scrappy little guys who have strung together wins against quality competition while the big boys are feasting on scrumptious cupcakes like Coastal Carolina, the dregs of the Sun Belt conference, and Notre Dame (d'oh!).

Oh, and the title of the post is from the song "Broken Heart", by Motion City Soundtrack. Their new album, "Even if it Kills Me" just dropped today and is in heavy rotation at the HRB bunker. If you like upbeat, synth-heavy whiny white boy rock, I'd recommend you give it a spin.

• Southern Cal regains its rightful place at 1A. Yeah, it's a little unfair to dump a team four places after a bye week like I did in my last ballot, but with the paucity of data on this Trojan team, I really had no choice. Just as I predicted, though, Southern Cal showed that they remain that insurmountable force we all knew they were going to be, and that they will have no problem trouncing the skulls of all the poor bunnies that are led to sacrifice against them. It's a tossup now between them and LSU, but when in doubt, err on the side of the gorilla with a chainsaw for a penis.



Worth another look on my blogpoll ballot.


• Florida storms back onto the scene. Florida had a bit of an inauspicious start on my preseason ballot, clocking in at number 11 mostly because of a hefty 15 points in the "show me first escrow". Suffice to say, I've been shown. Percy Harvin and Tim Tebow have not only taken those 15 points from me, but also my wallet, my girlfriend, and bitchin' Camaro. Welcome to the show, Gators. October 6 is going to be a horrifying bloodbath that will likely leave the southern half of the United States coated in smoking, radioactive ruins and werewolf fur.



• Bama, Boston College, and Kentucky catch a rocket ride. Sure, it might seem a bit irrationaly exuberant to bump two unranked teams into the top ten, but I like the cut of these teams gibs. Boston College has started the season with 3 in-conference games and cruised through them quite effortlessly, including a convincing pasting of Georgia Tech. With a veteran quarterback and some good mojo, they're beginning to look like a big fish in the admittedly small pond in the ACC.
  
  The same thing with Bama. Their win over Arkansas was inspired, and they're 2-0 in conference with an evil genius at the helm. Kentucky gets love just because watching highlights of students storm the field makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.



Wee! Tear 'em down!


• A big whatever for the rest of the pack. This is where the biggest swing is. The last ten spots more or less go to whoever has put together a couple impressive games in a row. Anyone who breaks my tenuous confidence gets unceremoniously booted from the ship in favor of a new, jazzier team to round out the bottom of the top 25. It was nice having you around, Tyrone Willingham. As I told you last week, your stay was over quickly, you did not enjoy it, and I am not your king.
  

Blogpoll: I'm So Much Cooler Online Edition

Rank	Team	Delta
1	LSU	25
2	Oklahoma	24
3	California	23
4	Southern Cal	22
5	Florida	21
6	West Virginia	20
7	Oregon	19
8	Clemson	18
9	South Carolina	17
10	Texas	16
11	Wisconsin	15
12	Georgia Tech	14
13	Rutgers	13
14	UCLA	12
15	Nebraska	11
16	Penn State	10
17	Arkansas	9
18	Ohio State	8
19	South Florida	7
20	Louisville	6
21	Boston College	5
22	Texas A&M	4
23	Georgia	3
24	Washington	2
25	Hawaii	1

Howdy Doody, y'all. I submitted my ballot just under the wire, but I'm just giving you the full writeup today. You can check the final blogpoll and see what the blogsphere said. I'm a bit relieved to see that I didn't win any crazy voter awards, so I appear to be in my right mind, for what that's worth. Let's have a look-see...

• You'll notice that the delta is screwed up. Somebody was a little busy and didn't get his ballot in on time last week. Heh.
  
  
• LSU is Number One. What else can I say... after watching their savage beat-down of Virginia Tech, there's really nothing else you can say about this team. Okay, there is exactly one thing you can say about this team. But talk is cheap. A cartoon I frantically whipped up is worth a thousand words:



Geaux-rilla with a chainsaw penis. Our national nightmare has arrived.


• It seems like everyone else loves chainsaw penises, too. As the blogpoll at large also catapulted LSU into the number one spot above idle USC. Nothing against the fine program in Southern California, who dropped a few slots after eating cheeseburgers, but at this point, I'm more bullish on the teams who have really demonstrated their savagery on the field. USC's lone game is a kind of meh victory over Idaho. Worry not, because USC will be back on the scene making people look ridiculous soon enough, and their bump in the polls will follow. I think it's going to be a stormy day in Lincoln.



• Nonexistant Defense? Prepare to plunge. Decked from #8 in my preseason poll to #25 after an unbelievably terrible outing on defense against Louisiana Tech, Hawaii lost all the goodwill they had built with me by showing that a bunch of varsity cheerleaders could rack up 500 yards against them. Sure, Colt Brennan can fun and gun his way to a bunch of victories without any help from the "D", but you can only spin that wheel so many times before your luck runs out. Ditto Louisville. While Middle Tennessee State has an awesome fight song (it's "Take Me Out to the Ballgame") and a totally bad-ass Pegasus mascot, giving up a thousand points and ten thousand yards to them means you're not ready for showtime. It's only a matter of time before somebody ridiculous knocks off the Cards.



A man's mascot. Neigh, a man's man's mascot.


• Greetings, Tyrone Willingham! Your stay in the top 25 will be over quickly. You will not enjoy this. I am not your king.
  
  

Well, that's what I've got for you. Tomorrow afternoon I'll put up my scintilating tete-a-tete with mgoblog's Brian Cook, where we talk about the upcoming game, my legendary bedroom skills, Ryan Mallett's customized helmet, and other stuff I'm sure you're dying to know.