Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Great Moments in Vandals History

Everyone's favorite prison-warden-acting-as-football coach Dennis Erickson has pulled a Rodney Dangerfield and decided to go Back to School, giving up the sweet life of contract-buyout-induced retirement and strapping on a whistle at his old stomping grounds in Moscow, signing up to coach for the Vandals of the University of Idaho. Undoubtedly, the landing of a high-profile coach on the frozen tundra of central eastern northwestish Idaho has sparked joy for Vandals lovers worldwide. Indeed, February 8, 2006 will long be remembered as a watershed day for Vandals, which is impressive considering how many great days there have been in their storied past. Here's a quick recap of Great Moments in Vandals History

  • 455 BC: Under the savage rule of King Genseric the Lame, the Vandals seize upon and sack Rome.
  • 415 BC: Socrates and some friends get completely rocked on Ouzo and stagger around the Athenian streets, hurling profanities at sniveling lady-boy eunuchs and systematically clubbing the penises off of every piece of statuary in the city.

    Original Gangsta.

  • June 2, 1799: Jean-Luc Veljean, a low-ranking grunt in Napoleon's army, gets a little carried away while playing a game of "Baguette Cannon Skeet Shoot" and clips off the schnozz of a priceless monument, the Great Sphinx of Giza.

    Mais, non, mon ami. Zut alors!

  • May 5, 1994: Michael Peter Fay... uh, well you know the story. Too soon to joke about?

  • February 20, 1997: Tragedy strikes the Arthur Burkhardt expressway at mile 114, when four lanes instantaneously and without warning shrink into two lanes, causing a miles-long backup and snarling traffic for days. Police are still seeking this man for questioning:

    Cosmo, you silly bastard.