Tuesday, March 21, 2006

On The Cutting Edge of Disaster

One of the founding principals of the House Rock Built is to closely monitor the ever-changing landscape of the commercial shaving industry, and to serve as a sane voice of reason in a mad world where the number of blades on our razors multiply on a nearly daily basis. When we hit five blades, we were right on top of it, and, God willing, we'll be there when they hit six.

Well, it's good to see that The Economist has taken up the fight against unbridled razor propigation with an in-depth study on the mathematical trends in blade inflation. Applying Moore's Law and setting up a conservative power curve, we're facing a 14-bladed razor sometime around the year 2100. However, if blades keep expanding at their present rate in a hypoerbolic curve, then we are truly looking at a worst-case scenario, with infinitely-bladed razors hitting the markets in just about nine years. Suffice to say, we may soon be confronted with the grave reality of zero-dimensional singularities on our razors, which would require the entire shaving public to rapidly learn the tricky and treacherous art of quantum shaving.

In fact, a friend of ours at Gillette has leaked this top-secret prototype drawing of an infinitely-bladed razor, which essentially features a ring of razorblades soldered onto a titanium Möbius strip. The future may be closer than we think.


At 10:30 PM, Anonymous Jeff said...

I can't believe I came to this website for a laugh and instead got a laugh and found out what a mobius strip is.
"Fuck it we're going to 4 blades"

At 1:58 AM, Anonymous T Schell said...

As soon as razors have more blades than Steve Miller has strings on his guitar, I'm going back to the single edge, double sided blades my grandfather used. Come on guys, at some point we have to seriously consider laser hair removal rather than feed the twerps in Gillete's R & D department. What imagination!

Twerp 1: Hey guys, we need a new revenue stream. Let's see what you can come up with.
Twerp 2: Let's add another blade!
Twerp 3: Great idea Chaz. We'll order in lunch and get to work on the new name.

This razor pissing match has been a pet peeve of mine for years...Thanks for the laugh.


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