Sunday, February 26, 2006

Me Fail English? That's Unpossible!

Vince Young has saved us from the off-season doldrums with what is likely the most fascinating and easiest-to-parody news of the year. Young wowed scouts and fans alike by scoring a nearly-unprecedented six points on his Wonderlic Test.

Just to bring everyone up to speed, the Wonderlic is a 50-question test that is used to measure an individuals general cognitive aptitude, sort of a quick and dirty IQ test to size up potential employees. If you're interested in seeing what it looks like, ESPN nabbed the sample test from the Wonderlic site and has it available here.

For those of you keeping score at home, the approximate conversion for Wonderlic-to-IQ-score is this (source):

IQ = 100 + (W-20)*2

I'll go ahead and do the math for you (since God only knows what the mean Wolderlic score of college football blog readers is...), and Vince's 6 equates to an IQ of 72. Those of you who watched Forrest Gump last night on ABC like myself will remember the scene where little Forrest can't get into school because his IQ of 75 falls below the minimum cut-off.

As our editors scramble to pull some strings and obtain an exclusive copy of Vince's Wonderlic test (should be faxed over tonight, fingers crossed...), let's all have a laugh and keep this in perspective. It's just an IQ test, and you can take our word for it that having an exceptional intelligence quotient in no way enhances one's opportunity to obtain sleazy groupie sex, admiration from peers, or success in professional sports. Remember that next time you get the brilliant idea to bring a Rubik's Cube to a job interview.


At 4:02 PM, Anonymous Matt said...

You guys misspelled easiest. which is funny because you're making fun of a guy who can't read. I trust that was intentional irony there.

At 4:55 PM, Blogger fightinamish said...

Hachi machi, good catch. If you'll believe it, that typo was not caused by my cognitive ineptitude, but rather from the bleeding ulcers in my eyes caused by drinking five too many jager bombs last night.

Unintentional intentional irony is too meta- for this crowd. I corrected the typo.

At 5:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I looked at the sample Wonderlic at ESPN. A question structured "Spell the word 'easiest'", would be considered unfairly difficult.

At 7:20 AM, Anonymous Brian said...

Most of the reports I've heard is that the 6 was just flat out wrong. Either it never happened or the scores from an entire group of testers were screwed up and they were all allowed to retake the test.

Even the garbage site that first reported the 6 (and will post anything they hear on message boards and attribute it to "sources") is now backing away from the score and pointing fingers at others about it.

At 1:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know, it would not be the first time that someone has bombed the thing. However, when I took the sample questions (which were read to me over the phone, so I had neither the use of paper nor a calculator to do any of the ungodly easy math) I got every question right in less than 10 seconds. Captain Eclectic projected that out to me scored possibly between 45 and 48 on this sucker, officially making someone who was massively hungover at the time really ashamed that people can even score this low.

There is no such thing as "five too many" Jager Bombs. There is always room for the Jager Bomb.

BTW, tried that Sparks and Tattoo drink idea. I now must agree to call it the Bad Idea. Fighting drunk after two.

At 1:50 PM, Anonymous Pellee said...

Damn you Blogger!

At 4:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You hilarious, evil bastard.


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