Hawk Clubs Laura Quinn on Head, Weds Her in Cave Ceremony

College football's First Couple, A.J. Hawk and Laura Quinn, tied the knot recently in a low-profile private ceremony. Laura Quinn is recovering well from the head-clubbing and hair-dragging and expects to make a full recovery. We wish these two kids the best in life, and would like to pre-emptively extend a scholarship offer to their insanely athletically-gifted yet god-fucking-ugly freak-of-nature babies.

Now that's a hell of a wedding photo.