Saturday, October 29, 2005

The World of Tomorrow... Today!

A tip of the cap to Father Jenkins and John Affleck-Graves for locking up our dear leader to a ten year deal (cause y'all know Leon can't cook without the dough). Not only does it give the program a new vote of confidence, but it puts that libelous punk Adam Schefter in his rightful place.

EDIT: Right, so our research committee just informed me that University of Michigan mouthpiece Adam Schefter is not actually the District Attorney from Law & Order. HRB apologizes for any confusion. Here is a page with the real scoop on this dirtbag.

Now, we have a very important question to face: What will the world be like in 2015? Have no fear, Irish fans, for the House Rock Built has consulted all of our time-travelling friends as well as the great oracles of our time to give you this handy-dandy guide to life in the year 2015.

January 19: The 100th Anniversary of George Claude patenting the neon discharge tube for advertising use.
February 17: Hoverboard is invented
March 1: George Jung, the legendary cartel boss depicted in the 2001 movie Blow, will be released from prison.
March 18: The Great Tribulation Period Begins. Satan wages war against Christians, two witnesses prophesize, the Antichrist is revealed (who in turn leads and promotes the New World Order), and several Christians are martyred.
March 20: Total Solar Eclipse.
October 1: 32nd Anniversary of Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart" reaching #1 in the American Billboard Hot 100.
October 21: Chicago Cubs win World Series, sweeping the Miami Gators.
October 21: Amateur time-traveller Marty McFly inadvertently interrupts the time-space continuum by purchasing a sports almanac from a Hill Valley, CA bookstore.
November 13: World War III culminates in devastating tactical nuclear strike on all of United States population centers. 3 billion people die from blasts from attacks, fallout, and retaliatory strikes.
November 14: In the wake of the devistation of WWIII, the Irish somberly defeat Pittsburgh at Heinz Field 17-3, wrapping up another undefeated season.
December 31: Copyright on Hitler's "Mein Kampf" expires.

Needless to say, 2015 will be a time of great uncertainty, what with the great Rapture, the Anti-Christ's war against Christianity, and the worldwide nuclear holocaust that eliminates nearly half of the world's population. However, one thing that will be certain is that Charlie Weis will be prowling the sidelines for the lads in blue and gold. I can hardly wait.


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