Sunday, November 13, 2005

The Fightin' Colors

The Irish are approaching a very dangerous portion of their schedule. This is one of the few times any college football team has to play back-to-back weeks against teams whose mascot is a color. But don't worry, because HRB has the full scouting report on these two vicious colors, okay? Chow down.

Syracuse Orange
Orange Things: Oranges, Orange Soda, Orange-Flavored Starburst Chews, Tangerine Orange Stella, Basketballs, Life Vests, Vodka Screwdrivers, Mimosas, Agent Orange, A Clockwork Orange, Goldfish, Orange you glad I don't know any more orange things?
Stanford Cardinal
Cardinal Things: Cardinals, Roses, Cardinal Vestments, Cardinal Rules, Chili Peppers, Radio Flyer Wagons, Merlot, Bloody Marys, Cardinal Sins.

But hey, we're not done yet. Becuase there's some more teams in Division 1 with color mascots too!

North Texas Mean Green, Dartmouth Big Green
Green Things: Envy, Limes, Grass, Marijuana, Lilly Pads, the Irish Countryside, Praying Mantis, Iguanas, Shamrocks, Apple Martini.
Harvard Crimson, Cornell Big Red
Red Things: Everything that's Cardinal. Um, blood.


At 12:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's worth mentioning that "Orange" is Syracuse's coward name, deployed to make us forget that they're named after William of Orange.

William was an interesting man. To put it less politely, he was a bisexual, incestuous usurper, who denied basic rights to Catholics and committed horrific massacres. He was also killed by a mole.

On the other hand, his name is the source of the orange in the Irish tricolor, and he won several wars with France.

At 1:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Big Red is actually Cornell.

At 1:42 PM, Anonymous Flann said...

Notre Dame's bowl opponent could very well be the Crimson Tide.


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