Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Indisputable Evidence: Bowl Cities

As the season winds down, fans whose teams are fortunate enough to be in the BCS mix are wrapped up in speculation as the where they will be come the New Year. While everybody may have their own personal preferences, we've set out to find the definitive answer on which city would be the best to send your squad and gaggle of drunken fans to. Here are the results of our exhaustive study.

Tempe, AZ

Pasadena, CA

Atlanta, GA

Miami, FL

Gin Blossoms

Jan & Dean's classic, "Little Old Lady from Pasadena"


Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine
Advantage: Tempe
Most Likely to be Mauled By:
Gila Monster
Amorous Manatee
Advantage: Miami
Worst Case Tailgating Scenario:

In the depths of peyote binge, mistake Saguaro Cactus for supermodel begging for sex.

DUI after crashing float into screaming crowd during Tournament of Roses parade .

Ill-fated canoeing trip down Cahulawassee River.

Prolonged boat chase with Don Johnson in hot pursuit.
Advantage: Atlanta
Freebies from Sponsors
Chips and Salsa
COD accounts at 4.00% APY. Leftover Playstation 2's.
Ridiculously small cell phones.
Packages addressed to Santa.
Advantage: Tempe
Most Likely Way to Die
Overdose in front of the Viper Room
Senseless car wreck while attempting Dukes of Hazzard stunt.
Gunned down by customs while smuggling six kilos of yayo.
Advantage: Miami

There you have it. Miami and Tempe win the battle, with Atlanta and Pasadena straggling behind. Enjoy the bowl season, folks!


At 3:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

No big fan of Ludacris, but I have to say he wins the music competition going away. The Gin Blossoms? Seriously? Wow.

At 5:57 PM, Blogger fightinamish said...

Of course, there will always be arguments when it comes to judgment calls about music.

I want to hear people argue the "Best Animal to be Mauled by". After a long debate, I went with Amorous Manatee, but Gila Monster was a close second. Anyone have an opinion?

At 6:29 PM, Anonymous Jamie said...

I don't like Ludacris that much either, but I think he certainly trumps the Gin Blossoms. I mean, what Gin Blossoms song is better than that one Austin Powers Ludacris song?

At 8:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd say the amorous manatee would be the worst of the choices given. On the other hand, I think you're most likely to be mauled by a ticked-off stripper in Atlanta, from what I've heard, which would push Atlanta *way* over the top in the category.

At 5:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd say the boat chase by Don Johnson is probably the best worst tailgate scenario. I never get to wear my white suit, powder blue t-shirt, and wicker shoes any more.


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