Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Grand Theft Clarett

Boy, you know it's going to be a good day when the first thing you hear on the radio as you're driving into work is that Maurice Clarett is back in the headline-making business, after being arrested for, among other things, making an illegal U-turn, starting a high-speed police chase, resisting arrest after being tasered, and having a small arsenal of weapons in his vehicle. Oh, and the entire time he was inexplicably wearing a bulletproof vest, which rendered the stun guns ineffective (who knew?). Do yourself a favor and read that entire article, as it will really brighten your day with its sheer video game-esque absurdity.

Clarett, you will remember, is still waiting to stand trial on two counts of aggravated robbery, four counts of regular old robbery, and one count of carrying a concealed weapon from that ridiculous cell phone incident back in January.



6 Comments:

At 11:05 AM, Blogger IrishOutsider said...

The man was on his way to court with a bulletproof vest, no less than 3 firearms, a bottle of Grey Goose, and a freaking hatchet. Unbelievable.

 
At 11:38 AM, Anonymous tc said...

Buckeye fans rejoice!!! Mo was on his way to see Tressel when he made the untimely u-turn on the highway.....must have forgot his fucking grenades or something.

 
At 1:57 PM, Blogger IrishOutsider said...

I would like to edit my previous assumption. Clarett was NOT on his way to court.

I don't know where he was going, but that Grey Goose bottle is starting to become a regular sidekick....

.....

...oh now THATS an idea...

 
At 2:40 PM, Anonymous pellee said...

I really should start fearing for my life over here in C-bus, shouldn't I?

 
At 3:36 PM, Blogger Cool Hand Mike said...

My job requires that I get "tazed" to carry one and sprayed to carry pepper spray. They both suck on an unimaginable scale but getting tazed is the worst. You hit the floor and flop like a fish.

 
At 9:20 PM, Blogger JB said...

Mo-Reese is the biggest loser since Andy Katzenmoyer.

 

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