Quick Cultural Sensitivity Update

Another quick note from the Charlie Weis presser that fell through the cracks is the elimination of the "Apache Linebacker" position, which Weis has updated to "Sam Linebacker" in the interest of cultural sensitivity. My suggestions of "Flying Dutchman Linebacker" and "Crazy-Legged Jew Linebacker" were, apparently, summarily rejected.

When informed of this, NCAA president Myles Brand expressed how proud he was by Weis' forward-thinking, then continued on his quest to force all college football programs to use every part of the buffalo.