Monday, September 18, 2006

South Carolina CB is the Latest in a Long Legacy of Alliterative Domers

In the aftermath of the game came a ray of hope, as four-star cornerback and Rivals 100 member Gary Gray from South Carolina locked up his verbal commitment to play for the Irish. At one point, Gray was considered a stone-cold lock to play with the Cocks in his home state (ding, pun number one), but he recently pulled out (ding) and opened up his recruitment. The Irish came on very strong (ding) out of relative obscurity and were able to snatch him away from the clutches of the Old Ballcoach.

His measurables and film are exciting, but above all it's good to see Gray join the long-standing tradition of alliterative-named Golden Domers. Travis Thomas and Junior Jabbie are the most recent members on the team this year, but there has been a pretty storied history:

  • Julius Jones


    After spending a good part of his career riding the pine while talent-evaluator extraordinaire Tyrone Willingham stoically watched Ryan Grant flop his way to another one yard gain, Jones somehow snuck onto the field and electrified the game, breaking a slew of single-game rushing records for the Irish. He's currently turning heads in Dallas, collecting fat paychecks, and plotting bloody revenge against the great molder of men.

    Carl Spackler advises you to slice his Achilles, that way he'll push all his long irons to the right.


  • Ruth Riley


    Farm girl from Indiana, dominating force on the inside, champion at every level, and a whole handfull of woman. She's listed at 6'5", but anyone who was at Notre Dame with her like myself knows that's complete garbage. She's nine feet tall if she's an inch. And, yaarrr, I seen her palm a medicine ball.

    Because of Ruth, I can still to this day claim that I saw a national championship in my Notre Dame career.

  • Jarious Jackson



    By far one of the gutsiest quarterbacks ever to don the blue and gold, particularly since he was unfettered week to week with anything resembling an offensive gameplan or playbook. Nay, Jarious was instructed to run around in the backfield, dodging potential career-ending tackler after career-ending tackler, then fling the ball haphazardly downfield and pray for a miracle. Surprisingly, he set an impressive array of school records doing this. You can read more about this proven offensive strategy if you buy ESPN Insider. Bob Davie's columns alone on the "Run & Fling" offense will make it all worthwhile.


  • And who can forget Erin Englewood from Breen-Phillips Hall? The filthiest lay this side of the San Jacinto. Made a man of me as well as half of my graduating class. Known around the world for her very peculiiar and specific talents and abilities. (Ahhhh, just kidding, babe. I love you dearly.)


What was I talking about? Oh, right, Gary Gray. Huge land for the Irish, and a great pick-me-up for an otherwise downer of a week. Take care kids. I'm going to root through my old photo albums and try to find Erin Englewood's phone number...

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