Thursday, May 10, 2007

You're All So Ripe for Parody

If you've never visited The Dugout, you've probably noticed a vast emptiness in your life. It's a hilarious website that posts fictional Instant Messenger conversations between baseball players, but the true genius of the entire site is the fake "screennames" they come up with for the players. Some are obvious (Ian Snell is "OohThatSnell"), while some require a bit more thinking (Ken Griffey, Jr. is "Elijah_Prince", for Samuel L. Jackson's injury-prone character in "Unbreakable"), but all of them are quite hilarious.

This year's Blue Gold game served as an inspiration for the House Rock Built, as well as several drunken companions (namely Irish Outsider) trying to come up with maximally-humorous screen names for this year's team. Some were funny, some weren't, but the entire exercise left us quite entertained for the duration of the rather boring game. For your enjoyment, I've put together the greatest hits of that drunken afternoon. Any other suggestions? Leave them in the comments. It might be a good idea to remember these, as there's a pretty good chance I'll refer to these players almost exclusively by these names throughout the rest of the season.


James Aldridge
AldridgeThatEndsDridge

Joe Brockington
Brock_The_Casbah

Evan Sharpley
a_scanner_sharpley

George West
George_By_Georgewest

Konrad Reuland
der_Konradssar

D.J. Hord
HordHaveMercy

Dan Wenger
Wenger_Chunger

David Grimes
GrimesWithOrange

Asaph Schwapp
Wife_Schwapping

Will Yeatman
Cannibals_Yeatman

Luke Schmidt
SchmidtHappens

Jimmy Clausen
JC_Superstar

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12 Comments:

At 8:51 AM, Blogger IrishOutsider said...

You forgot Chris "HouseOfStewart"...or not.

 
At 2:29 PM, Blogger Jay said...

Excellent. I was waiting for something like this. We toyed around with some stuff last year but it never got off the ground. Excerpts:

ShorterDistance: we keep a tiger on our sideline
ShorterDistance: its intimindating
UrbanDictionary: so what we have an alligator
UrbanDictionary: seriously a goddam alligator
ShorterDistance: tiger is tougher than a allygator
UrbanDictionary: no chance homes - a tiger wouldnt even fight a gator
UrbanDictionary: gators are made of teeth and leather and fury
UrbanDictionary: our gator would chomp around like "you don't want any of this, son"
UrbanDictionary: makes a tiger look like a kitty cat
MustacheRides50Cents: people say I look like bill cowher

----------

MilesofMyles: After careful consideration, the NCAA
has taken the extraordinary step of ruling Mr.
Jarrett ineligible. No player, regardless of
All-America status, is above the law.
GrinAndJarrett: Can I be reinstated now?
MilesofMyles:
MilesofMyles:
MilesofMyles: Yes.


------------

Love "GeorgeByGeorgeWest". Some other possibilities for current domers:

the_Laws_Won
IrishTom
MekkaLekkaHi-MekkaHineyHo
PaddyCakes
Scott_Smith
KuntzyKuntzyKoo
Gene_Parmalee
Salacious_Crum

 
At 4:07 PM, Blogger Ted said...

love the brock and schwapp ones. i can't believe there's nothing on Hand or Gaines or Webb? Is a Kuntz play on words too risky? Not even a Mike Kuntz?

 
At 5:22 PM, Blogger Andy said...

How about
Crum_Cruncher
Tor_y'a_new_one
Bruton_Force

 
At 9:40 AM, Anonymous rusty said...

Zbi_pow_ski?

 
At 10:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Grimes_of_Passion
Sergioleone
raeshon_around

Obvious
Duncan-donuts

 
At 10:33 AM, Anonymous Hulk said...

DarrellHandJob

 
At 10:51 AM, Anonymous hulk said...

CharlieCheese'nWeis
WildWildWebb
OnlyTheYoungSurvive
Rayd_Herring
Ambro's_WoodenLeg
Termites_DarrenDaWalls
Raeshon_Raeshoff
Senior_Uppercutty (Junior Jabby)
Munir_TheSymbol

 
At 10:54 AM, Anonymous hulk said...

...and for the incoming freshman...

Hafis_Hafisnt

 
At 1:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

AlittleBlack_AlittleWhite (Gary Gray)

Noodles_And_RagoneSauce
Armando_HowDoYouSay_AhYes_Allen
Nagel_and_CreamCheese
RomineLettuce
Blue_And_Golden

 
At 7:50 AM, Blogger C. Ryan said...

Look who we've got our Gaines on

 
At 1:14 AM, Blogger Chris said...

Housing for ND fans is available at www.gamedayhousing.com

 

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