Thursday, May 10, 2007

You're All So Ripe for Parody

If you've never visited The Dugout, you've probably noticed a vast emptiness in your life. It's a hilarious website that posts fictional Instant Messenger conversations between baseball players, but the true genius of the entire site is the fake "screennames" they come up with for the players. Some are obvious (Ian Snell is "OohThatSnell"), while some require a bit more thinking (Ken Griffey, Jr. is "Elijah_Prince", for Samuel L. Jackson's injury-prone character in "Unbreakable"), but all of them are quite hilarious.

This year's Blue Gold game served as an inspiration for the House Rock Built, as well as several drunken companions (namely Irish Outsider) trying to come up with maximally-humorous screen names for this year's team. Some were funny, some weren't, but the entire exercise left us quite entertained for the duration of the rather boring game. For your enjoyment, I've put together the greatest hits of that drunken afternoon. Any other suggestions? Leave them in the comments. It might be a good idea to remember these, as there's a pretty good chance I'll refer to these players almost exclusively by these names throughout the rest of the season.


James Aldridge
AldridgeThatEndsDridge

Joe Brockington
Brock_The_Casbah

Evan Sharpley
a_scanner_sharpley

George West
George_By_Georgewest

Konrad Reuland
der_Konradssar

D.J. Hord
HordHaveMercy

Dan Wenger
Wenger_Chunger

David Grimes
GrimesWithOrange

Asaph Schwapp
Wife_Schwapping

Will Yeatman
Cannibals_Yeatman

Luke Schmidt
SchmidtHappens

Jimmy Clausen
JC_Superstar

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