Blogpoll: I Ain't Settlin' For Anything Less Than Everything
A little more complicated stat, these are points I'm purposely withholding from a team until I've taken a look at their performance. Like Mark May, I'm old school Missouri, I demand that you show-me before I give you props. If after a few games, I see that the team has it together, these points will be added into their score.
If it's not obvious, this is intended to be a mockery of the convoluted logic that dictates preseason polling. Not to say that I'm not taking this seriously or that this is a joke ballot... it most certainly is not. It's just an exaggerated breakdown of the voodoo math that goes into assigning a preseason rank. By and large, it looks quite a bit like the AP preseason poll, which is probably because about 30 of the writers pay me a hefty royalty to use this very spreadsheet. But let's keep that under wraps. Scouting out any crazines...
- Hawaii is #8. Okay, that's crazy. But, to be honest, they really have everything that makes for an attractive preseason team. They have arguably the most battle-tested quarterback in the league, a lot of "completly irrelevant velocity from last year's performance", and that all-important bowl win last year, which somehow is a huge factor for preseason polling. I'm keeping them there... for now.
- Auburn gets a boost. Eh. That might mean there's something wrong with me. They were #1 in my preseason poll last year.
- No Love for Florida. Come on, coaches poll. #3? I mean, look at this. That's a full half page of lost lettermen. Sure, sure, they've got great depth and recruiting and momentum, but I'll believe it when I see it. I'm holding 15 points in escrow until Urban can show he can pull another rabbit out of his hat.
- Duke is #25. As always, so Steve Spurrier doesn't feel alone. As you can see, he did it again this year.
Full documentation of my painstaking process below:
Labels: Blogpollin', Some People Don't Realize This is Satire, Southern Cal Can Eat a Fat One, The Insanity of the BCS, The Media is Full of Dingbats, Urban Meyer is a Weasely Bastard, Warning: Actual Honest-to-God Football Analysis