Tuesday, June 06, 2006

All-Day Tough

We're all gearing up for the big showdown this weekend. In the event that you've been living under a rock, Notre Dame's own Tom Zbikowski is making his professional boxing debut at Madison Square Garden this Saturday, matching up in a heavyweight undercard fight leading up to the Cotto-Malignaggi dustup on Pay-Per-View. Zbikowski, who holds a 67-13 record (or 75-15, depending on which article you're reading) is matched up against Robert Bell, another relative novice who has been KO'ed his last two professional bouts.

To make matters even more interesting, the big news recently broke that Bell is a devout Ohio State Buckeyes fan. Bell announced that he will enter the ring in full Buckeyes regalia, although he will first have to petition the WBO for an exemption to their by-laws which expressly prohibit the wearing of sweatervests during a televised fight. While we don't have much information on the contendor, the House Rock Built's official sketch artist has put together this composite sketch based on witnesses' accounts:

I adhere to a strict training regiment of lifting weights, sparring, jump-roping, and having sex with myself.

The odds are looking pretty good for Zbikowski, because Ohio State fans enjoy a nationwide reputation for their glass jaws. And I'm no stranger to fisticuffs with Buckeyes fans myself, as I once suckerpunched Ohio State alumnus Jack Buck while he was getting out of a cab in St. Louis. Dude went down like a ton of bricks. I was three blocks away in a dead sprint by the time he realized what had happened.