Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Ask Anagramaticus: Ohio State Scouting Report

Anagramaticus is the great prophet of college football. For countless ages, coaches, fans, and journalists have consulted the wisdom of Anagramaticus to solve their football problems. His techniques, while largely mysterious, involve a deep meditation on anagrams. Today, he solves the Ohio State gameplan.


Archetype
Anagram

Ohio State University

Intuitive Soothsayer
Apparently, Ohio State practices the art of Haruspicy, by reading the entrails of a sacrificed sheep.

Jim Tressel

Slim Jester

Aaron James Hawk

Ha! An askew Major!
Hawk's major is Criminology, which is askew and perhaps even ironic, considering his recent legal travails.

Ashton Youboty

Yahoo! Nosy Butt!

Troy Smith

Riots? Myth!

Columbus, Ohio

Ouch! Is Bum Loo!
Yes, that's correct. The city of Columbus is an oversized toilet for vagabonds.

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