Indisputable Evidence: Dan Hawkins

Well, it looks like a done deal that Dan Hawkins will be leaving the potatoes, blue turf, and countless throngs of buxom farm girls behind and heading to the mountains of Boulder. While this is a big step up for the offensive-minded UC-Davis grad, it does come at the expense of countless hundreds of devoted Boisians. Their website, donthiredanhawkins.com is slightly amusing and certainly a breath of fresh air from the more conventional fire(fill in the blank).com. DH called us up this afternoon asking for some sage advice on his career decision, so we whipped him up a little tale of the tape of these two cities.

Boulder	Boise
Celebrity Neighbors
Mork & Mindy	Bruce & Demi (formerly)
Advantage: Boulder
Local Band
The Samples	Built to Spill
Advantage: Push
Strange Vegetation
Killer Bud	Blue Turf
Advantage: Boulder
Famous Native American
Senator Ben "Nighthorse" Campbell	Sacagawea
Advantage: Boise
The Name of the Law Is...
Officer Barbrady	Wyatt Earp
Advantage: Boise
City Motto
Animals have feelings too, man!	Fill Boise's Hole!
Advantage: Boise
Most Likely Way to Die
Extreme Sports	Potato Blight
Advantage: Boulder

Well, Danny boy, it looks like a tie, 3-3-1. You know what that means: Follow the money, honey. Just watch out, we've heard Gary Barnett is haunting the athletic office from his secret hideout in the sub-basement. If you hear organ music in the middle of the night, head for the hills.