Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Indisputable Evidence: Dan Hawkins

Well, it looks like a done deal that Dan Hawkins will be leaving the potatoes, blue turf, and countless throngs of buxom farm girls behind and heading to the mountains of Boulder. While this is a big step up for the offensive-minded UC-Davis grad, it does come at the expense of countless hundreds of devoted Boisians. Their website, is slightly amusing and certainly a breath of fresh air from the more conventional fire(fill in the blank).com. DH called us up this afternoon asking for some sage advice on his career decision, so we whipped him up a little tale of the tape of these two cities.


Celebrity Neighbors

Mork & Mindy

Bruce & Demi (formerly)
Advantage: Boulder
Local Band

The Samples

Built to Spill
Advantage: Push
Strange Vegetation
Killer Bud
Blue Turf
Advantage: Boulder
Famous Native American

Senator Ben "Nighthorse" Campbell

Advantage: Boise
The Name of the Law Is...

Officer Barbrady

Wyatt Earp
Advantage: Boise
City Motto
Animals have feelings too, man!
Fill Boise's Hole!
Advantage: Boise
Most Likely Way to Die
Extreme Sports
Potato Blight
Advantage: Boulder

Well, Danny boy, it looks like a tie, 3-3-1. You know what that means: Follow the money, honey. Just watch out, we've heard Gary Barnett is haunting the athletic office from his secret hideout in the sub-basement. If you hear organ music in the middle of the night, head for the hills.


At 6:39 PM, Blogger Steedle said...

Sorry, but Built to Spill > The Samples. Boise wins, 4-3.

At 10:16 AM, Blogger allwhoyonder said...

Unfortunately, even that comment is incorrect. Comparing the music scene in Boise and Boulder is like comparing the state of Kansas to California. It's just not fair:
String Cheese Incident
Yonder Mountain String Band
Tim O'Brien
Shanti Groove
The Motet
Tony Furtado
Acoustic Junction
Leftover Salmon
Big Head Todd and the Monsters
...and a lot more

Put that score back in Boulder's favor.

Care to rebut, Boise?

At 11:17 AM, Blogger Steedle said...

My contention was simply that Built to Spill is better than the Samples. Obviously, as you pointed out, the music scene in Boulder is much better, as a whole. I do think this is the right move for Coach Hawk, and I'm most certainly not from Boise, though I do hear it's a nice (albeit remote) place.

At 11:45 AM, Blogger fightinamish said...


Dirty hippy jam bands count for negative points. Now take a shower and get a job ;)

At 3:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Drugs are retarded. Anyone who uses them is a f-ck faced peice of shit that doesn't deserve to live. Give the advantage on strange vegetation to BSU.

At 5:33 PM, Blogger fightinamish said...

First of all, anonymous, while I do not agree with what you say, I will defend to the death your right to say it. Second of all, smoking blue turf has gotten us twice as high as pot could ever dream of. So it's a wash.


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