Ripped from the Headlines!

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ORLANDO - Havoc broke out at the Citrus Bowl Tuesday when Gary Barnett pulled his most daring stunt yet, circumventing a restraining order and parachuting into the stadium during the third quarter. After gaining entry to the stadium, Barnett scurried with deceptive speed into the press box, seizing control of the playcalling booth and barracading himself within. For thirty tense minutes, Barnett daringly perpetuated the standoff with state and federal authorities, all the while calling in plays for the Buffaloes.

Those hoping for a peaceful end to the hostilities were horrified when a Florida SWAT team crashed into the booth, attempting to quash Barnett's uprising. The stunned crowd gasped as Barnett evaded the law by smashing out the press box glass and escaping by hangglider. The manhunt continued into the night, but was eventually called off due to darkness. Barnett still remains at large.

In the thirty minutes Barnett had control of the offense, the Buffaloes ran six plays for a net gain of negative 32 yards.