Friday, December 02, 2005

Whoaaaa Nellie! It's time for Mad Libs!

Keith Jackson certainly stirs up a range of emotions in people. Some people can't stand him, others feel he is unimpeachable in his sanctity in the pantheon of college football. Whatever you feel about Keith Jackson, today you have a rare opportunity to be Keith Jackson. Maybe seeing the world through Keith's eyes will help us come to a more accurate and fair judgment of the man, the myth and the legend. So go get a partner (or a pardner, if Brent Musburger is around), print out this post, and rip it in half at the line. Fill in the blanks and have a hollerin' good time!



Female Name
Down Number
i.e., first, second, third or fourth
Down Number
Number (1 through 99)
Pac 10 Team
Verb ending in -ing
Number (1 through 99)
Number (1 through 99)
Past Tense Verb
Container
Ethnicity
Dessert Food
Household Appliance
Retired Pac 10 Coach
Down Number
Number (1 through 10)
Adjective
Something in a Toolkit (plural)
Article of Clothing
Medieval Weapon
Extinct Animal
Cut of Meat
Unit of Time
Affeminite Way of Walking
Made-Up Verb
Euphemism for Dying (past tense)
Holiday that does not occur during football season


   <-- After hitting this button, copy the field below and paste it in a comment.




The Big Game

Whoaaa, ! Have we got a donnybrook! It's and ten, sorry, make that and , and is in striking distance after a pitch and catch that netted yards and resulted, actually, well it actually resulted in a gain of . The receiver took that ball and like he had a full of strapped to his .

Now let's see what has up his sleeve. down, and here's the snap. A quick pitch and he slashes for . Boy, that back is one basket of . You think you have him ed up and he s over you like a going after a ! And it looks like we're out of time, so they will fall to... no, wait a , it's a touchdown. It's a touchdown apparently. He ed through the pile and ed into the end zone for the score right as the clock . And that's the way it will end, in a tie, as overtime, as you know, does not exist in College Football. For Dan Fouts, I'm Keith Jackson, wishing you a pleasant .



38 Comments:

At 11:01 PM, Blogger fightinamish said...

Here's mine. Hope you enjoy! Let me know how yours turned out!

Whoaaa, Zuzu! Have we got a donnybrook! It's fourth and ten, sorry, make that first and 38, and the Stanford Cardinal is in striking distance after a psychotropic pitch and catch that netted 58 yards and resulted, actually, actually resulted in a gain of three and a half. The receiver took that ball and filibustered like he had a crackerjack box full of Eskimo pudding pops strapped to his Portable Rotisserie Oven.

Now let's see what Bill Walsh has up his sleeve. Third down, and here's the snap. A quick pitch and he slashes for just about two. Boy, that back is one well-endowed basket of 3/16" allen wrenches. You think you have him parka-ed up and he trebuchets over you like a Passenger Pigeon going after a 16 ounce veal cutlet! And it looks like we're out of time, so they will fall to... no, wait a fortnight, it's a touchdown. It's a touchdown apparently. He sauntered through the pile and flummoxed into the end zone for the score right as the clock rode the dirt pony. And that's the way it will end, in a tie, as overtime, as you know, does not exist in College Football. For Dan Fouts, I'm Keith Jackson, wishing you a pleasant Cinco De Mayo.

 
At 12:36 AM, Blogger Mel Ott said...

Whoaaa, ! Have we got a donnybrook! It's and ten, sorry, make that and , and is in striking distance after a pitch and catch that netted yards and resulted, actually, well it actually resulted in a gain of . The receiver took that ball and like he had a full of strapped to his .

Now let's see what has up his sleeve. down, and here's the snap. A quick pitch and he slashes for . Boy, that back is one basket of . You think you have him ed up and he s over you like a going after a ! And it looks like we're out of time, so they will fall to... no, wait a , it's a touchdown. It's a touchdown apparently. He ed through the pile and ed into the end zone for the score right as the clock . And that's the way it will end, in a tie, as overtime, as you know, does not exist in College Football. For Dan Fouts, I'm Keith Jackson, wishing you a pleasant .

 
At 1:50 AM, Blogger fightinamish said...

Sorry, Mel! Your values didn't copy. I rewrote a Script for the page so that it dumps it into a field that can be copied & pasted into the comments. Hopefully that will fix the problem.

 
At 2:29 AM, Blogger Mel Ott said...

Whoaaa, Meli! Have we got a donnybrook! It's 3rd and ten, sorry, make that 4th and 5, and USC is in striking distance after a wobbly pitch and catch that netted 25 yards and resulted, actually, well it actually resulted in a gain of 5. The receiver took that ball and threw like he had a jar full of Mexican jelly beans strapped to his oven.

Now let's see what Robinson has up his sleeve. 2nd down, and here's the snap. A quick pitch and he slashes for 4. Boy, that back is one hopping basket of screwdrivers. You think you have him jerseyed up and he chews over you like a woolly mammoth going after a pound of flesh! And it looks like we're out of time, so they will fall to... no, wait a New York minute, it's a touchdown. It's a touchdown apparently. He tip toed through the pile and gallavanteered into the end zone for the score right as the clock starts to push up daisies. And that's the way it will end, in a tie, as overtime, as you know, does not exist in College Football. For Dan Fouts, I'm Keith Jackson, wishing you a pleasant Armistice Day!.

 
At 11:46 AM, Anonymous Tuan said...

Whoaaa, Brian! Have we got a donnybrook! It's 2nd and ten, sorry, make that 3rd and 69, and UCLA is in striking distance after a matriculating pitch and catch that netted 2 yards and resulted, actually, well it actually resulted in a gain of 1. The receiver took that ball and regurgitated like he had a little fairy's bag full of roman camel's milk strapped to his vacuum cleaner. Now let's see what Mister Rogers has up his sleeve. 4th down, and here's the snap. A quick pitch and he slashes for 4. Boy, that back is one salty basket of pipe wrenches. You think you have him pantyed up and he longbows over you like a tasmanian tiger going after a porterhouse! And it looks like we're out of time, so they will fall to... no, wait a eon, it's a touchdown. It's a touchdown apparently. He sashayed through the pile and quilticated into the end zone for the score right as the clock passed wind, gagged one last time and flopped over. And that's the way it will end, in a tie, as overtime, as you know, does not exist in College Football. For Dan Fouts, I'm Keith Jackson, wishing you a pleasant Kwanzaa.

 
At 10:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whoaaa, Nelly! Have we got a donnybrook! It's 2nd and ten, sorry, make that 2nd and 10, and Washington is in striking distance after a cruising pitch and catch that netted 78 yards and resulted, actually, well it actually resulted in a gain of 78. The receiver took that ball and crushed like he had a baggie full of Greek cheesecake strapped to his dishwasher. Now let's see what Rick Neuheisel has up his sleeve. 3rd down, and here's the snap. A quick pitch and he slashes for 8. Boy, that back is one purple basket of pliers. You think you have him pantiesed up and he longbowss over you like a stegosaurus going after a steak! And it looks like we're out of time, so they will fall to... no, wait a second, it's a touchdown. It's a touchdown apparently. He pranceed through the pile and POWed into the end zone for the score right as the clock whithered away. And that's the way it will end, in a tie, as overtime, as you know, does not exist in College Football. For Dan Fouts, I'm Keith Jackson, wishing you a pleasant St. Patrick's Day.

 
At 10:26 AM, Blogger Steedle said...

Fightinamish,
What did you study at ND? What do you do now? This is one of the more interesting things I have seen on a blog in a while.

 
At 11:18 AM, Blogger Steedle said...

Whoaaa, Persephone! Have we got a donnybrook! It's fourth and ten, sorry, make that tenth and four, and Washington is in striking distance after a nad-pumping pitch and catch that netted 32 yards and resulted, actually, well it actually resulted in a gain of 2. The receiver took that ball and jiggied like he had a kiddie pool full of Turkmenistani pineapple upside-down cake strapped to his toaster oven. Now let's see what Keith Gilbertson has up his sleeve. Second down, and here's the snap. A quick pitch and he slashes for 32. Boy, that back is one tasty basket of slip-joint pliers. You think you have him 'coon skin capped up and he ballistas over you like a T-rex going after a tuna loin! And it looks like we're out of time, so they will fall to... no, wait a New York minute, it's a touchdown. It's a touchdown apparently. He Fosse'ed through the pile and papillated into the end zone for the score right as the clock made cotton candy. And that's the way it will end, in a tie, as overtime, as you know, does not exist in College Football. For Dan Fouts, I'm Keith Jackson, wishing you a pleasant Boxing Day.

 
At 1:23 PM, Anonymous jeff said...

Whoaaa, Sindy! Have we got a donnybrook! It's Fifth and ten, sorry, make that First and 1, and USC is in striking distance after a gagging pitch and catch that netted 23 yards and resulted, actually, well it actually resulted in a gain of negative 5. The receiver took that ball and grunted like he had a 55 gallon drum full of chinese fortune cookies strapped to his blender. Now let's see what Robinson has up his sleeve. Third down, and here's the snap. A quick pitch and he slashes for 2. Boy, that back is one sexy basket of hammers. You think you have him thonged up and he pikes over you like a T-rex going after a chittling! And it looks like we're out of time, so they will fall to... no, wait an hour, it's a touchdown. It's a touchdown apparently. He froliced through the pile and urinated into the end zone for the score right as the clock punched a one way ticket to hades. And that's the way it will end, in a tie, as overtime, as you know, does not exist in College Football. For Dan Fouts, I'm Keith Jackson, wishing you a pleasant Kwanza.

 
At 2:31 PM, Blogger fightinamish said...

Steedle-

"The receiver took that ball and jiggied like he had a kiddie pool full of Turkmenistani pineapple upside-down cake strapped to his toaster oven"

This is my new catch phrase. I will say this every time I watch a football game from now on.

 
At 11:30 PM, Blogger Tyrone Davieham said...

Whoaaa, Unfufu! Have we got a donnybrook! It's 5th and ten, sorry, make that 2nd and goal, and USC is in striking distance after a spelunking pitch and catch that netted 2 yards and resulted, actually, well it actually resulted in a gain of 2 yards. The receiver took that ball and bathed it like he had a chalice full of Armenian pudding strapped to his under-cabinet mounted toaster oven. Now let's see what Willingham has up his sleeve. 3th down, and here's the snap. A quick pitch and he slashes for 1. Boy, that back is one scrumtrulescent basket of tin snips. You think you have him smocked up and he flaming cauldron of oils over you like a Mastadon going after a pork chop! And it looks like we're out of time, so they will fall to... no, wait a second, it's a touchdown. It's a touchdown apparently. He tra-la-laed through the pile and rogered into the end zone for the score right as the clock bought the farm. And that's the way it will end, in a tie, as overtime, as you know, does not exist in College Football. For Dan Fouts, I'm Keith Jackson, wishing you a pleasant Festivus.

 
At 11:03 AM, Anonymous Matt said...

Whoaaa, Sarah! Have we got a donnybrook! It's 2nd and ten, sorry, make that 4th and 25, and Oregon is in striking distance after a Jerking pitch and catch that netted 69 yards and resulted, actually, well it actually resulted in a gain of 45. The receiver took that ball and Spanked like he had a Tupperware full of Colored Ice Cream strapped to his Dish Washer. Now let's see what Bill Walsh has up his sleeve. 1st down, and here's the snap. A quick pitch and he slashes for `17. Boy, that back is one skanky basket of scissors. You think you have him pantiesed up and he iron maidens over you like a dodo bird going after a porterhouse! And it looks like we're out of time, so they will fall to... no, wait a seconds, it's a touchdown. It's a touchdown apparently. He gaylyed through the pile and hosenfefered into the end zone for the score right as the clock bit it. And that's the way it will end, in a tie, as overtime, as you know, does not exist in College Football. For Dan Fouts, I'm Keith Jackson, wishing you a pleasant flag day.

 
At 11:43 AM, Blogger COLOfilm said...

Whoaaa, Carmelita! Have we got a donnybrook! It's 4th and ten, sorry, make that 5th and a country mile, and Cal Pauly Shore is in striking distance after a goat-smelling pitch and catch that netted eleventy-five yards and resulted, actually, well it actually resulted in a gain of bupkus. The receiver took that ball and menstruated like he had a lunchbox full of Peruvian Twinkies strapped to his dust buster. Now let's see what Pop Warner has up his sleeve. Sixth down, and here's the snap. A quick pitch and he slashes for a metric mile. Boy, that back is one persnickety basket of tinsnips. You think you have him lace teddied up and he Gaul-garrotes over you like a rabid raptor going after a rump roast! And it looks like we're out of time, so they will fall to... no, wait a stinky whisker, it's a touchdown. It's a touchdown apparently. He dilly-whiffled through the pile and scrotumed into the end zone for the score right as the clock took the hemlock. And that's the way it will end, in a tie, as overtime, as you know, does not exist in College Football. For Dan Fouts, I'm Keith Jackson, wishing you a pleasant Ramadan.

 
At 12:26 PM, Blogger Wacko said...

Whoaaa, Anastasia! Have we got a donnybrook! It's First and ten, sorry, make that Third and 69, and Washington is in striking distance after a accusing pitch and catch that netted 39 yards and resulted, actually, well it actually resulted in a gain of 57. The receiver took that ball and mailed like he had a urn full of uzbekish Pineapple upside-down cake strapped to his microwave. Now let's see what John Wooden has up his sleeve. First down, and here's the snap. A quick pitch and he slashes for 3. Boy, that back is one truck-shaped basket of needle nosed pliers. You think you have him bow tieed up and he dire flails over you like a archaeopteryx going after a mock tender roast! And it looks like we're out of time, so they will fall to... no, wait a microsecond, it's a touchdown. It's a touchdown apparently. He sashayed through the pile and spoogeed into the end zone for the score right as the clock became immortally challenged. And that's the way it will end, in a tie, as overtime, as you know, does not exist in College Football. For Dan Fouts, I'm Keith Jackson, wishing you a pleasant mardi gras.

 
At 1:19 PM, Anonymous Irishgal said...

Whoaaa, Sally! Have we got a donnybrook! It's 2nd and ten, sorry, make that 1st and 82, and Stanford is in striking distance after a side-splitting pitch and catch that netted 2 yards and resulted, actually, well it actually resulted in a gain of 74. The receiver took that ball and sneezed like he had a can full of Russian Flan strapped to his toilet. Now let's see what Bill Walsh has up his sleeve. 2nd down, and here's the snap. A quick pitch and he slashes for 3. Boy, that back is one antsy basket of lugnuts. You think you have him bustierreed up and he arrows over you like a unicorn going after a slice of spam! And it looks like we're out of time, so they will fall to... no, wait a hour, it's a touchdown. It's a touchdown apparently. He sashayed through the pile and schniegled into the end zone for the score right as the clock went kaput. And that's the way it will end, in a tie, as overtime, as you know, does not exist in College Football. For Dan Fouts, I'm Keith Jackson, wishing you a pleasant Arbor Day.

 
At 2:17 PM, Anonymous NDIRISH13 said...

Whoaaa, Maggie! Have we got a donnybrook! It's 1 and ten, sorry, make that 2 and 13, and USC is in striking distance after a excrutiating pitch and catch that netted 37 yards and resulted, actually, well it actually resulted in a gain of 42. The receiver took that ball and ran like he had a tubaware full of black apple pie strapped to his refrigerator. Now let's see what Frank Kush has up his sleeve. 4 down, and here's the snap. A quick pitch and he slashes for 9. Boy, that back is one rediculous basket of screwdrivers. You think you have him shoeed up and he launces over you like a antillean cave rat going after a t-bone! And it looks like we're out of time, so they will fall to... no, wait a millisecond, it's a touchdown. It's a touchdown apparently. He tip-toeed through the pile and falagadaggled into the end zone for the score right as the clock expired. And that's the way it will end, in a tie, as overtime, as you know, does not exist in College Football. For Dan Fouts, I'm Keith Jackson, wishing you a pleasant easter.

 
At 2:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mine...

Whoaaa, Jeniece! Have we got a donnybrook! It's 3rd and ten, sorry, make that 4th and 15, and USC is in striking distance after a Blowing pitch and catch that netted 30 yards and resulted, actually, well it actually resulted in a gain of 5. The receiver took that ball and Crapped like he had a Bucket full of Irish Ice Cream strapped to his Microwave. Now let's see what Bill Walsh has up his sleeve. 4th down, and here's the snap. A quick pitch and he slashes for 5. Boy, that back is one Green basket of Screwdrivers. You think you have him Pantsed up and he Bastard Swords over you like a Dodo going after a Rump! And it looks like we're out of time, so they will fall to... no, wait a Hour, it's a touchdown. It's a touchdown apparently. He Shuffleded through the pile and Shated into the end zone for the score right as the clock Kicked the Bucket. And that's the way it will end, in a tie, as overtime, as you know, does not exist in College Football. For Dan Fouts, I'm Keith Jackson, wishing you a pleasant St. Patrick's Day.

 
At 1:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whoaaa, Gertrude! Have we got a donnybrook! It's 3rd and ten, sorry, make that 4th and 7.5, and UCLA is in striking distance after a groin grabbing pitch and catch that netted eleventeen yards and resulted, actually, well it actually resulted in a gain of 1500. The receiver took that ball and crapped like he had a scrotum full of Puerto Rican sewer pies strapped to his towel warmer. Now let's see what Ralph Miller has up his sleeve. Fif down, and here's the snap. A quick pitch and he slashes for 1. Boy, that back is one meaty basket of ball peen hammers. You think you have him banana hammocked up and he axes over you like a labrador duck going after a rump roast! And it looks like we're out of time, so they will fall to... no, wait a 27 years, it's a touchdown. It's a touchdown apparently. He waltzed through the pile and groangezaed into the end zone for the score right as the clock basted the formaldehyde turkey. And that's the way it will end, in a tie, as overtime, as you know, does not exist in College Football. For Dan Fouts, I'm Keith Jackson, wishing you a pleasant Octoberfest.

 
At 9:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whoaaa, Oprah! Have we got a donnybrook! It's 1st and ten, sorry, make that 4th and 56, and USC is in striking distance after a protruding pitch and catch that netted 44 yards and resulted, actually, well it actually resulted in a gain of 2. The receiver took that ball and hocked like he had a urn full of Yemani tapioka strapped to his esspresso machine. Now let's see what McKay has up his sleeve. 3rd down, and here's the snap. A quick pitch and he slashes for 8. Boy, that back is one uncious basket of ball peen hammers. You think you have him vested up and he catapults over you like a Teranadon going after a veal cutlet! And it looks like we're out of time, so they will fall to... no, wait a nano second, it's a touchdown. It's a touchdown apparently. He swisheded through the pile and tywilidaved into the end zone for the score right as the clock bought the farm. And that's the way it will end, in a tie, as overtime, as you know, does not exist in College Football. For Dan Fouts, I'm Keith Jackson, wishing you a pleasant President's Day.

 
At 10:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whoaaa, Petunia! Have we got a donnybrook! It's 4th and ten, sorry, make that 2nd and 25, and Washington is in striking distance after a miraculous pitch and catch that netted 47 yards and resulted, actually, well it actually resulted in a gain of 2. The receiver took that ball and juiced like he had a underwater-woven basket full of Polish creme brule strapped to his coffemaker. Now let's see what John McKay has up his sleeve. 4th down, and here's the snap. A quick pitch and he slashes for 6. Boy, that back is one crazy basket of socket-wrenches. You think you have him pantsed up and he cat-o-nine-tailss over you like a sabertooth tiger going after a flank steak! And it looks like we're out of time, so they will fall to... no, wait a minute, it's a touchdown. It's a touchdown apparently. He pounced through the pile and glozereded into the end zone for the score right as the clock kicked the can. And that's the way it will end, in a tie, as overtime, as you know, does not exist in College Football. For Dan Fouts, I'm Keith Jackson, wishing you a pleasant Festivus.

 
At 3:11 AM, Blogger Uncle Hoosier said...

Whoaaa, Nadine! Have we got a donnybrook! It's 2nd and ten, sorry, make that 3 and 23, and Oregon is in striking distance after a wunderbar pitch and catch that netted 15 yards and resulted, actually, well it actually resulted in a gain of -5. The receiver took that ball and fell like he had a one ton container full of garbanzo bean casserole strapped to his posterior region. Now let's see what John McKay has up his sleeve. 1st down, and here's the snap. A quick pitch and he slashes for 3. Boy, that back is one great big basket of whoop-de-do. You think you have him wrappeded up and he tripss over you like a dodo bird going after a ferret! And it looks like we're out of time, so they will fall to... no, wait a nanosecond, it's a touchdown. It's a touchdown apparently. He sashayed through the pile and equinoxickled into the end zone for the score right as the clock kicked the bucket into the netherworld. And that's the way it will end, in a tie, as overtime, as you know, does not exist in College Football. For Dan Fouts, I'm Keith Jackson, wishing you a pleasant Memorial Day.

 
At 2:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whoaaa, Suzann! Have we got a donnybrook! It's 3 and ten, sorry, make that 4 and 72, and USC is in striking distance after a magical pitch and catch that netted 87 yards and resulted, actually, well it actually resulted in a gain of 7. The receiver took that ball and threw like he had a match box full of Ethiopian Bundt Cakes strapped to his Toaster. Now let's see what John MaCay has up his sleeve. 3 down, and here's the snap. A quick pitch and he slashes for 4. Boy, that back is one Glorious basket of Wrenches. You think you have him Pantsed up and he Maces over you like a Bald Eagle going after a T-Bone! And it looks like we're out of time, so they will fall to... no, wait a Unit of Time, it's a touchdown. It's a touchdown apparently. He Pranced through the pile and berdunced into the end zone for the score right as the clock expires. And that's the way it will end, in a tie, as overtime, as you know, does not exist in College Football. For Dan Fouts, I'm Keith Jackson, wishing you a pleasant Kwansa.

 
At 6:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whoaaa, Bertha! Have we got a donnybrook! It's 4th and ten, sorry, make that 2nd and 75, and Oregon is in striking distance after a spitting pitch and catch that netted 58 yards and resulted, actually, well it actually resulted in a gain of 2. The receiver took that ball and shat like he had a box full of mexican banana creme pie strapped to his dishwasher. Now let's see what Bill Walsh has up his sleeve. 3th down, and here's the snap. A quick pitch and he slashes for 4. Boy, that back is one sexy basket of wrenches. You think you have him fanny packed up and he maces over you like a carrier pigeon going after a Iowa chop! And it looks like we're out of time, so they will fall to... no, wait a nanosecond, it's a touchdown. It's a touchdown apparently. He pranceded through the pile and Shoemongered into the end zone for the score right as the clock bought the farm. And that's the way it will end, in a tie, as overtime, as you know, does not exist in College Football. For Dan Fouts, I'm Keith Jackson, wishing you a pleasant Kwanzaa.

 
At 11:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whoaaa, jenniree! Have we got a donnybrook! It's second and ten, sorry, make that one and 25, and arizona is in striking distance after a spelunking pitch and catch that netted 75 yards and resulted, actually, well it actually resulted in a gain of 69. The receiver took that ball and thrashed like he had a dumpster full of haji angel food cake strapped to his toaster. Now let's see what terry donovan has up his sleeve. third down, and here's the snap. A quick pitch and he slashes for 9. Boy, that back is one grand basket of box sanders. You think you have him neck gaitered up and he maces over you like a bison going after a sirloin strip! And it looks like we're out of time, so they will fall to... no, wait a second, it's a touchdown. It's a touchdown apparently. He sashayed through the pile and shacked into the end zone for the score right as the clock pushed up daisies. And that's the way it will end, in a tie, as overtime, as you know, does not exist in College Football. For Dan Fouts, I'm Keith Jackson, wishing you a pleasant easter.

 
At 6:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whoaaa, Megan! Have we got a donnybrook! It's 2nd and ten, sorry, make that 4th and 67, and Washington is in striking distance after a jiggling pitch and catch that netted 4 yards and resulted, actually, well it actually resulted in a gain of 35. The receiver took that ball and farted like he had a casket full of Bohemian cream puffs strapped to his air conditioner. Now let's see what Jack Elway has up his sleeve. 1st down, and here's the snap. A quick pitch and he slashes for 4. Boy, that back is one gracious basket of hammers. You think you have him bereted up and he cannons over you like a unicorn going after a lamb shank! And it looks like we're out of time, so they will fall to... no, wait a year, it's a touchdown. It's a touchdown apparently. He pranced through the pile and greffeled into the end zone for the score right as the clock kicked the bucket. And that's the way it will end, in a tie, as overtime, as you know, does not exist in College Football. For Dan Fouts, I'm Keith Jackson, wishing you a pleasant Presidents' Day.

 
At 12:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whoaaa, Sweet Tits McGee! Have we got a donnybrook! It's Third and ten, sorry, make that First and 58, and The Fightin' Ducks of Ore-a-gon is in striking distance after a bead-dazzling pitch and catch that netted twenty-eight yards and resulted, actually, well it actually resulted in a gain of practically nothing. The receiver took that ball and augered like he had a diaper full of Amish flan strapped to his sausage press. Now let's see what John Wooden has up his sleeve. Fourth down, and here's the snap. A quick pitch and he slashes for a deuce. Boy, that back is one high-viscosity basket of ball peen hammers. You think you have him short pantsed up and he trebuchets over you like a coelicanth going after a undercooked filet of horse meat! And it looks like we're out of time, so they will fall to... no, wait a stinky whisker, it's a touchdown. It's a touchdown apparently. He sasheeed through the pile and gorgathoned into the end zone for the score right as the clock took to dirt bus to deadtown. And that's the way it will end, in a tie, as overtime, as you know, does not exist in College Football. For Dan Fouts, I'm Keith Jackson, wishing you a pleasant Dia de los muertos.

 
At 8:30 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whoaaa, Nicole Simpson! Have we got a donnybrook! It's 3rd and ten, sorry, make that 4th and 69, and Stanford is in striking distance after a Donkey Punching pitch and catch that netted 16 yards and resulted, actually, well it actually resulted in a gain of 30. The receiver took that ball and Blasted like he had a Urine sample full of Negro Dark Chocolate Cake strapped to his Egg beater. Now let's see what John Robinson has up his sleeve. 1 down, and here's the snap. A quick pitch and he slashes for 9. Boy, that back is one Malicious basket of Drills. You think you have him Tighty whitiesed up and he Spears over you like a Tyrannosaurus Rex going after a Prime Rib! And it looks like we're out of time, so they will fall to... no, wait a Hour, it's a touchdown. It's a touchdown apparently. He Pedraggleed through the pile and Schlobbernocked into the end zone for the score right as the clock Croaked. And that's the way it will end, in a tie, as overtime, as you know, does not exist in College Football. For Dan Fouts, I'm Keith Jackson, wishing you a pleasant 4th of July.

 
At 1:27 PM, Anonymous pants said...

Whoaaa, pete carol! Have we got a donnybrook! It's fifth and ten, sorry, make that zeroeth and 67, and washington is in striking distance after a chuck norrising pitch and catch that netted 11 yards and resulted, actually, well it actually resulted in a gain of 17. The receiver took that ball and chuck norrised like he had a slurry tub full of eskimo souls of the living strapped to his meat grinder. Now let's see what ty willingham has up his sleeve. fifth down, and here's the snap. A quick pitch and he slashes for 2.37. Boy, that back is one chuck norris basket of plumb levels. You think you have him pantsed up and he The Singing Sword of Conary Mors over you like a unicorn going after a tenderloin! And it looks like we're out of time, so they will fall to... no, wait a fortnight, it's a touchdown. It's a touchdown apparently. He nanceed through the pile and chuck norrised into the end zone for the score right as the clock sold the farm. And that's the way it will end, in a tie, as overtime, as you know, does not exist in College Football. For Dan Fouts, I'm Keith Jackson, wishing you a pleasant Arbor Day.

 
At 4:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whoaaa, Gertrude! Have we got a donnybrook! It's third and ten, sorry, make that fourth and 87, and USC is in striking distance after a paralyzing pitch and catch that netted 12 yards and resulted, actually, well it actually resulted in a gain of 7. The receiver took that ball and hacked like he had a drum barrell full of Indian cheesecake strapped to his garbage disposal. Now let's see what John Wooden has up his sleeve. second down, and here's the snap. A quick pitch and he slashes for 3. Boy, that back is one gregarious basket of hacksaws. You think you have him argyle socked up and he morning star flails over you like a wooly mammoth going after a porterhouse steak! And it looks like we're out of time, so they will fall to... no, wait a millisecond, it's a touchdown. It's a touchdown apparently. He flittered through the pile and habberdunked into the end zone for the score right as the clock bought the farm. And that's the way it will end, in a tie, as overtime, as you know, does not exist in College Football. For Dan Fouts, I'm Keith Jackson, wishing you a pleasant Flag Day.

 
At 6:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whoaaa, samantha! Have we got a donnybrook! It's third and ten, sorry, make that first and 53, and the beavers is in striking distance after a dancing pitch and catch that netted 34 yards and resulted, actually, well it actually resulted in a gain of 66. The receiver took that ball and barfed like he had a tupperware full of italian cheesecake strapped to his amana microwave oven. Now let's see what john robinson has up his sleeve. fourth down, and here's the snap. A quick pitch and he slashes for 7. Boy, that back is one smooth basket of allen wrenches. You think you have him boxer shortsed up and he cross bows over you like a do do bird going after a prime rib! And it looks like we're out of time, so they will fall to... no, wait a nanosecond, it's a touchdown. It's a touchdown apparently. He pranced through the pile and googleed into the end zone for the score right as the clock bought the farm. And that's the way it will end, in a tie, as overtime, as you know, does not exist in College Football. For Dan Fouts, I'm Keith Jackson, wishing you a pleasant easter.

 
At 7:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whoaaa, Jennifer! Have we got a donnybrook! It's fourth and ten, sorry, make that second and 21, and USC is in striking distance after a fucking pitch and catch that netted 69 yards and resulted, actually, well it actually resulted in a gain of 45. The receiver took that ball and hosed like he had a trash can full of black sundae strapped to his blender. Now let's see what John Robinson has up his sleeve. third down, and here's the snap. A quick pitch and he slashes for 8. Boy, that back is one green basket of pliers. You think you have him tuniced up and he claws over you like a whooping crane going after a t-bone! And it looks like we're out of time, so they will fall to... no, wait a second, it's a touchdown. It's a touchdown apparently. He floatinged through the pile and gnarglinged into the end zone for the score right as the clock passed away. And that's the way it will end, in a tie, as overtime, as you know, does not exist in College Football. For Dan Fouts, I'm Keith Jackson, wishing you a pleasant easter.

 
At 12:21 PM, Blogger Andrew said...

Whoaaa, Liz! Have we got a donnybrook! It's Third and ten, sorry, make that Fourth and 28, and UCLA is in striking distance after a kicking pitch and catch that netted 7 yards and resulted, actually, well it actually resulted in a gain of 49. The receiver took that ball and took like he had a cup full of Asian cake strapped to his blender. Now let's see what Bob has up his sleeve. third down, and here's the snap. A quick pitch and he slashes for 3. Boy, that back is one spicy basket of screwdrivers. You think you have him shirted up and he axes over you like a dodo going after a prime rib! And it looks like we're out of time, so they will fall to... no, wait a second, it's a touchdown. It's a touchdown apparently. He sasheed through the pile and contriculated into the end zone for the score right as the clock bought the farm. And that's the way it will end, in a tie, as overtime, as you know, does not exist in College Football. For Dan Fouts, I'm Keith Jackson, wishing you a pleasant Fourth of July.

 
At 12:53 AM, Blogger fightinamish said...

Whoaaa, Becky! Have we got a donnybrook! It's 3 and ten, sorry, make that 2 and 34, and USC is in striking distance after a jumpin pitch and catch that netted 57 yards and resulted, actually, well it actually resulted in a gain of 203. The receiver took that ball and farted like he had a ziploc bag full of inuit oreo brownies strapped to his toaster. Now let's see what john wooden has up his sleeve. 1 down, and here's the snap. A quick pitch and he slashes for 9. Boy, that back is one fuzzy basket of wrenches. You think you have him underoosed up and he guillotines over you like a dodo going after a filet! And it looks like we're out of time, so they will fall to... no, wait a millenium, it's a touchdown. It's a touchdown apparently. He froliced through the pile and snuxxzed.ed into the end zone for the score right as the clock ate the last pecan. And that's the way it will end, in a tie, as overtime, as you know, does not exist in College Football. For Dan Fouts, I'm Keith Jackson, wishing you a pleasant earth day.

 
At 2:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whoaaa, Holly Rowe! Have we got a donnybrook! It's 6th and ten, sorry, make that 2 and 34, and USC is in striking distance after a Sending pitch and catch that netted 73 yards and resulted, actually, well it actually resulted in a gain of 2. The receiver took that ball and Shot like he had a bottle full of Latino cake strapped to his vacuum. Now let's see what Bill Walsh has up his sleeve. 3 down, and here's the snap. A quick pitch and he slashes for 2. Boy, that back is one super basket of allen wrenches. You think you have him socksed up and he axes over you like a ostrolapithicus africanis going after a t-bone! And it looks like we're out of time, so they will fall to... no, wait a minutes, it's a touchdown. It's a touchdown apparently. He struted through the pile and acribitsed into the end zone for the score right as the clock moved on. And that's the way it will end, in a tie, as overtime, as you know, does not exist in College Football. For Dan Fouts, I'm Keith Jackson, wishing you a pleasant easter.

 
At 5:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whoaaa, Suzie! Have we got a donnybrook! It's third and ten, sorry, make that first and 77, and USC is in striking distance after a running pitch and catch that netted 26 yards and resulted, actually, well it actually resulted in a gain of 3. The receiver took that ball and caught like he had a jar full of jew cake strapped to his blender. Now let's see what John Robinson has up his sleeve. first down, and here's the snap. A quick pitch and he slashes for 9. Boy, that back is one jumpy basket of nails. You think you have him shirted up and he crossbows over you like a dinosaur going after a t-bone! And it looks like we're out of time, so they will fall to... no, wait a hour, it's a touchdown. It's a touchdown apparently. He skiped through the pile and footballinged into the end zone for the score right as the clock kicked the bucket. And that's the way it will end, in a tie, as overtime, as you know, does not exist in College Football. For Dan Fouts, I'm Keith Jackson, wishing you a pleasant memorial day.

 
At 6:03 PM, Anonymous Howard said...

Whoaaa, Bonny! Have we got a donnybrook! It's fourth and ten, sorry, make that third and 43, and Washington is in striking distance after a carousing pitch and catch that netted 34 yards and resulted, actually, well it actually resulted in a gain of 76. The receiver took that ball and whalloped like he had a box full of hispanic ice cream strapped to his aga. Now let's see what John McKay has up his sleeve. second down, and here's the snap. A quick pitch and he slashes for 7. Boy, that back is one groovy basket of wrenches. You think you have him tieed up and he maces over you like a dodo going after a filet! And it looks like we're out of time, so they will fall to... no, wait a hour, it's a touchdown. It's a touchdown apparently. He mincinged through the pile and blogdoginged into the end zone for the score right as the clock shuffled off the mortal coil. And that's the way it will end, in a tie, as overtime, as you know, does not exist in College Football. For Dan Fouts, I'm Keith Jackson, wishing you a pleasant easter.

 
At 12:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whoaaa, Bettina! Have we got a donnybrook! It's second and ten, sorry, make that fourth and 63, and Oregon State is in striking distance after a raining pitch and catch that netted 92 yards and resulted, actually, well it actually resulted in a gain of 48. The receiver took that ball and articulated like he had a plastic drum full of Cablinasian pie strapped to his blender. Now let's see what Marv Harshman has up his sleeve. first down, and here's the snap. A quick pitch and he slashes for nine. Boy, that back is one slippery basket of screws. You think you have him banana hammocked up and he adzes over you like a platypus going after a roast! And it looks like we're out of time, so they will fall to... no, wait a nanoseconds, it's a touchdown. It's a touchdown apparently. He pranceded through the pile and perflorateed into the end zone for the score right as the clock kicked the bucket. And that's the way it will end, in a tie, as overtime, as you know, does not exist in College Football. For Dan Fouts, I'm Keith Jackson, wishing you a pleasant Flag Day.

 
At 1:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whoaaa, NELLY! Have we got a donnybrook! It's third and ten, sorry, make that fourth and 12, and Texas is in striking distance after a Hook&Ladder pitch and catch that netted 21 yards and resulted, actually, well it actually resulted in a gain of minus 5. The receiver took that ball and Statue-of-Libertied like he had a treasure chest full of Guatemalen Pecan Flan strapped to his toaster oven. Now let's see what Pop Warner has up his sleeve. Fourth down, and here's the snap. A quick pitch and he slashes for 14. Boy, that back is one over-pumped basket of crescent wrenches. You think you have him panty and thonged up and he battle axes over you like a sabre-tooth cat going after a flank steak! And it looks like we're out of time, so they will fall to... no, wait a New York Minute, it's a touchdown. It's a touchdown apparently. He rooster-strutted through the pile and snotbusted&slobberknocked into the end zone for the score right as the clock jumped the shark. And that's the way it will end, in a tie, as overtime, as you know, does not exist in College Football. For Dan Fouts, I'm Keith Jackson, wishing you a pleasant Memorial Day.

 

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