Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Rose Bowl Liveblogging!

A beer-by-beer, blow-by-blow account of the Big Game.

Beer One

  • I didn't think I'd live long enough to see Bob Davie at a BCS championship game.
  • If you haven't already, be absolutely sure you read EDSBS's pregame prediction. Absolutely required Rose Bowl reading.
  • Shit, bad news boys! None of these football players are dating another player's sister. There goes two hours of programming. Between plays, you will be treated to Ron Franklin and Keith Jackson playing popular '80s songs on the xylophone.
  • UPDATE: Texas Longhorn fan Lance Armstrong is dating Sheryl Crow, who I think is from Los Angeles, or at least wrote a song about LA once. We'll keep you updated for the rest of the game.

  • Story of the Century!

    Beer Two

  • Helluva three and out negated by a bumbling fumbling fumble. And out come the wolves...

  • Rancid: Not just a band.

  • Touchdown, SC. EDSBS is looking smarter and smarter.

  • Beer Three

  • Leinart QB sneak on 4th and 1, stuffed. All the millions of times I've fantasized about that. Looks like he could have used some assistance.
  • Hey-zeus, Reggie! What in hell's holy asshole are you doing? The 20 yard slant & fumblerooski?
  • Some solid driving by the Horns... negated by some more bumbling fumbleness.

  • Quoth Keith Jackson: it's like they're wrasslin' with a greased pig, by golly.

  • Assless chaps on the Texas cheerleaders. Sorry, Song Girls, I'm kicking you to the curb. Call me when my baby turns 18.
  • It's a pick! Faith and beggorah!! Keith Jackson just asked, "Where would they spot the ball?" Well, Keith, in the last 140 years, a touchback goes to the 20 yard line.

    Whoaa, Nellie, Texas will start their drive three yards deep in their own end zone.

  • Beer Threeve

  • Texas is rolling up the no-huddle and slicing up the USC defense. Granted, the '91 Washington Huskies would only gain 35 yards against USC, but hey.
  • Holy everloving hell! That was a Playstation Drive. I spent the last three plays yelling "L2! L2! Circle, Triangle, Square!!!".
  • TOUCHDOWN TEJAS! 9-7! Good job on the hurry-up kick, take the six at the expense of one. Keith Jackson came through big with the commentary. And I quote:
    It's good for the, to the, for the Trojans, to the... the knee... [Two seconds of silence, then cut to commercial]

  • Beer X+1

    16-7. The Russian is cut.

  • 98 almost ran down Reggie Bush, while completely helmetless. He didn't lose it, he just didn't want it.
  • How many consecutive sacks is that?
  • So that's what USC's kicker looks like. I thought he was a myth, you know like Sasquatch, Keyser Soze, or Eskimos.

    Also apparently not fake.

  • Halftime. 16-10. Stay tuned for the Pontiac "Whose Head Coach Looks More Like a High School Junior?" Competition.


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