Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Round and Round Goes the Wheel of Pain

The recruiting game is a swampy quagmire full of false promises, carnivorous smile-fa├žades, backstabbing, treachery, and Tom Lemming. It's not for children, and it's not for the faint of heart or weak of stomach. Also, four out of five doctors agree that you should wait at least 30 minutes after eating a meal before reading a recruiting website. That being said, it's a hilarious pageant of the absurd that, taken with enough detachment and acceptance of how much of a sicko you really are, proves to be endlessly entertaining.

Take the drama in the last week that involved a linear chain of backstabbing that starts at the defending national champs and ends with a toddler from suburban Muncie, Indiana:

Behold, the Wheel of Pain!

Urban Meyer poaches prized defensive end recruit Justin Trattou from Notre Dame commitment.
Charlie Weis, in turn, extends scholarship to Iowa commit Brian Smith. Kirk Ferentz becomes enraged and pulls Smith's scholarship offer. Smith commits to Notre Dame.
Kirk Ferentz turns around and offers Ball State linebacker commit Bruce Davis, who decommits from the Cardinals to join Iowa.
Ball State head coach Brady Hoke tracks down Suzy Kohlmiller, a six year old Muncie native, and steals her tricycle, leaving her in tears on the side of the road.

To Be Continued...

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