Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Round and Round Goes the Wheel of Pain

The recruiting game is a swampy quagmire full of false promises, carnivorous smile-fa├žades, backstabbing, treachery, and Tom Lemming. It's not for children, and it's not for the faint of heart or weak of stomach. Also, four out of five doctors agree that you should wait at least 30 minutes after eating a meal before reading a recruiting website. That being said, it's a hilarious pageant of the absurd that, taken with enough detachment and acceptance of how much of a sicko you really are, proves to be endlessly entertaining.

Take the drama in the last week that involved a linear chain of backstabbing that starts at the defending national champs and ends with a toddler from suburban Muncie, Indiana:

Behold, the Wheel of Pain!

Urban Meyer poaches prized defensive end recruit Justin Trattou from Notre Dame commitment.
Charlie Weis, in turn, extends scholarship to Iowa commit Brian Smith. Kirk Ferentz becomes enraged and pulls Smith's scholarship offer. Smith commits to Notre Dame.
Kirk Ferentz turns around and offers Ball State linebacker commit Bruce Davis, who decommits from the Cardinals to join Iowa.
Ball State head coach Brady Hoke tracks down Suzy Kohlmiller, a six year old Muncie native, and steals her tricycle, leaving her in tears on the side of the road.

To Be Continued...

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6 Comments:

At 2:15 AM, Anonymous Andy said...

He who lives by the poaching sword shall die by the poaching sword.

Let these kids "early commit" to end this nonsense.

P.S. Note to Mike Ragone. If Petey does come a callin', ask him about the NCAA/Pac-10/Feds' investigation into Bushgate and why you would want to spend 4 years under that cloud. And while you're at it, ask him why a tight end would go to a school whose offensive coordinator just went to the dark side of the silver & black.

 
At 2:50 AM, Anonymous Rome said...

Charlie should set in place his "Alternative Recruiting Plan." The plan goes into effect January 1 and goes up until national signing day. Charlie and staff will put on a full court press for players committed to other schools.

The first schools targeted in January 2008 will be Florida and Illinois. Any recruit from these two schools that still has an official visit left will be asked to come to ND. Whether the player can even qualify for admittance to ND is irrelevant. The main purpose is to drive UF and UI fans insane.

How many of these kids will ever get a chance to have their picture taken with a nice chubby guy that has 4 Super Bowl rings? Hell, we might even steal a recruit or two.

 
At 8:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

If Suzy is anything like my 5 year old daughter she quickly went inside and took it out on her little brother/sister. The wheel keeps moving.

 
At 12:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

looks like the old food chain, gator eats weiss, weiss eats hawkeye, eye eats balls?

 
At 1:58 AM, Anonymous Tommy O said...

did ferentz really pull smith's scholarship offer??

 
At 2:31 AM, Anonymous Kyle said...

yes, he did when Smith said he was taking a visit. A Les Miles-esque policy was in effect.

 

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