All Hail Western Speed!
Anyone who caught the East-West Shrine Bowl last weekend not only got to spend four more torturous hours of your life with Bob Davie (isn't this supposed to be the offseason? Do we got no reprieve?), but you also got to personally witness the complete exposure of flat-footed Easterners when matched up against Western Speed. The West rolled to a dominating 21-3 win.
If this doesn't prove that the Mississippi River cleanly divides America into a slow, lethargic, and overweight Eastern Half and a supercharged hemicontinent of lightning quick genetic freak athletes in the West, then I'm afraid no amount of specious question-begging sportswriter quasi-argument will ever convince you.
Labels: Some People Don't Realize This is Satire, Woop Woop Breaking News
posted by fightinamish @ 12:55 PM
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Now wait just a ding dong minute there, pardner. I thought that the demarcation line for speed was the Mason-Dixon line. North=Slow, South=Fast. And then there is a conference factor which allows for SEC Speed (tm).
Now, I'm really confused.
Oh, woe is us slow Northerners.
Did you see Howard Schnellenberger calling plays? I wonder what NFL words of wisdom he shared with the pro prospects?
I just heard that star RB Robt. Hughes of Chicago has decided on ND over Illinois, Mich., OSU.
He is reputed to be a bruiser of a RB, 5-11, 225, with 4.6 speed.
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