It Seems To Me We Have a Crisis of Confidence
I'll be the first to admit it, there's nothing fun about heading into a road game where you're 17 point underdogs. Throw in the fact that we're breaking in a new quarterback behind a slap-happy offensive line and that the whole operation looked like a train wreck last week, and you've got the makings for a potentially bad weekend. But I don't want to hear any loser talk, Irish fans. What you need is a shot of confidence, and I'm just the man to deliver that for you. You see, I've applied my long tenure as an abusive drinker to craft the perfect cocktail for your gameday consumption that will put the smile back on your face and a steaming pile of confidence back in your heart. Feast your eyes, dear friends, on the Shot of Confidence.
Tastes like... glory.
That's right, NyQuil and Claussen pickle juice. If this doesn't put a spring in your step and the will of a tiger in your feeble heart, then, brother, there's no hope left for you. So hoist 'em up, Irish fans.