Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Ask Anagramaticus: Florida Edition

Anagramaticus is the great prophet of college football. For countless ages, coaches, fans, and journalists have consulted the wisdom of Anagramaticus to solve their football problems. His techniques, while largely mysterious, involve a deep meditation on anagrams. This week, Urban Meyer phones in for advice

Oh Great Anagramaticus, I am in quite a dillema for my bowl game. You see, my backup quarterback, Josh Portis, has unexpectedly transferred, and now I'm stuck trying to choose a backup quarterback. Should I promote Gavin Dickey or Cornelius Ingram to the second team?

-Urban M., Gainseville, FL.

My son, let us delve deeply into the mystery of your conundrum.

Gavin Dickey
Kind, Gay Vice.
Cornelius Ingram
Malign Recursion

Certainly, the last thing you want is recursive malignment, particularly if you feel the slightest bit maligned to begin with. While Dickey's ascention would be a "vice", it is one of the kind and gay variety. Promote Dickey and may peace be with you.