Friday, August 11, 2006

Be Myles Brand For a Day!

Hey Kids! Thanks for stopping by The House Rock Built's Activity Corner! I know you've got a few precious hours while mommy and daddy are still passed out, so why don't we play a fun game? Allright, to play, you'll need a color printer, a pair of safety scissors, a thumbtack, and a clean desk area to work on (so just slide those empty bottles of vodka right onto the floor!) Ready? Allright, let's play a game called "Be Myles Brand For a Day".

Do you know who Myles Brand is? Well, he's a very important man who is president of a big company called the NCAA. When college football teams like the ones your redneck parents root for make a boo-boo, Mr. Brand gets to jump in and dispense punishments, kind of like how your parents punish you when you pour their liquor down the sink! But you see, instead of weighing evidence and abiding by a consistent standard like grown-ups do, Mr. Brand uses a fun little wheel, which we get to recreate today! Do you have all your supplies? Well, let's get started!



Allright, now carefully cut out (A) and (B), then secure (B) to the center of (A) using a standard thumbtack. That was easy! Now, let's test this bad boy out!

  • A Division 3 school in the middle of nowhere has a nickname that is offensive to Native Americans. What do you do? (spin the wheel!)

    (write your answer here)

  • A superstar Wide Receiver accepts thousands and thousands of dollars in free rent from the parent of another team member. What do you do? (spin the wheel!)

    (write your answer here)

  • A professor artificially boosts grades of football players by offering non-classes for credit. What do you do? (spin the wheel!)

    (write your answer here)

  • Now, it's your turn! Write your own scenario and dish out some justice! Isn't discipline fun?

    (write your answer here)


At 7:20 AM, Blogger Galen said...

Beautiful! Coming soon: the Maurice Clarett police felony dart board, what will he do next?

At 2:00 PM, Blogger Kilted Domer said...

Good idea, Galen. Follow that up with "Which-Hurricane-gets-shot-in-the-ass-Bingo"!

At 11:51 AM, Blogger Maize n Brew Dave said...

absolutely awesome. You left out "free groceries go to jail" space.

At 7:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Enjoyed a lot!


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