Friday, March 02, 2007

The New Banner is Up!

Well, with the changing times and graduating players, I've decided to revamp the old banner. The theme is "Fightinamish and Friends" and the banner is styled in the manner of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club. It's kind of a tribute to all the personalities who have made these last two years so successful and hilarious.

Essentially, the banner is serving as the House Rock Built's hall of fame. Henceforth, then, if somebody does something awesome or notorious, they can earn their way into the pantheon of the banner. You'll notice that three recently-graduated players made it to the hall, and the House is proud to induct Darius Walker, Brady Quinn, and Jeff Samardzija into the inagural wall of fame class. All three of them had achievements during the career that had a great impact on the team and this website, and are worthy inductees.

If you're an avid reader, you'll probably recognize most of these characters, but if you're a bit confused, here's a handy reader's guide:

(click image for full-size)

1. HR Pufnustuf. Pufnstuf gained immediate fame in college football when Mike Valenti demanded he be hired as Michigan State's defensive coordinator. There's a pretty good chance you've already heard Valenti's rant a thousand times, but you should fire it up one last time, for nostalgia's sake.

2. Darius Walker. Michigan, 2004. An unheralded freshman hops off the bench and singlehandedly propels the Irish to victory. He was small, he was slow, and at times I screamed terrible things about him, but he was the centerpiece to the Irish offense for three years and an invaluable asset. Shifty and tenacious, he fought for every yard, caught every pass that was thrown to him, and never ever fumbled the ball. An obvoius choice for the HRB's pantheon.

3. H. Mervin Longfellows. The notorious booster, he dreams of a simpler time when boosters lived by an unwritten code when they paid their players.

4. Papa John. Urban Meyer's identical twin.

5. Neil Diamond. It's a tradition at HRB to get naked and dance to Neil Diamond every time we get a new recruit.

6. Alec Baldwin. The single greatest living actor of all time. Period.

7. Jeff Samardzija

Crazy hair, crazy catches. Rotted on the bench for two years under Willingham and became a two-time All-American under Weis. I can't even count the number of times he blew my mind with electrifying catches, huge plays, and heroism.

8. All-Hairmerican Award. The highest honor bestowed by the House Rock Built. Each year, we compile the All-Hairmerican Team for the greatest hairdos in college football.

9. Anagramaticus. The wise prophet of college football. He rearranges letters to discover hidden truths.

10. Howard Schnellenberger. A badass mustache-sporter who earned the esteem of the House Rock Built for his voting tendencies. He occasionally submits pearls of wisdom to the House Rock Built. 11. Andy French. The patron saint of getting wrecked, calling football coaches, and screaming inappropriate things. The inspiration for the House Rock Built's Andy French Cup.

12. The Orgeron. The deranged, psychotic cajun from Ole Miss, he serves as a constant inspiration for House Rock Built insanity. He also writes his own blog called Every Day Should Be Lemsday.

13. Orvis P. Sexton. The House Rock Built's resident gonzo journalist. Wherever there's booze, recreational drugs, and a football game, you can expect to see him with his notepad and pen.

14. Wilford Brimley. The long-lost twin of Purdue coach Joe Tiller, he demands that you eat your damn oatmeal.

15. Dink. A tough-luck Notre Dame fan and co-star of the House Rock Built's official comic strip, Dink & Dunk.

16. Stanford Tree. The worst mascot in sports, and victim of a gangland shooting last year. Charlie Weis is still a person of interest.

17. Brady Quinn. Quinn took over a program in desperate shape and spent four years getting his bones crushed. He never backed down, he never complained, and at the end of his tenure, he had piloted Notre Dame into a new era of offensive prowess. He's the man.

18. Franz Kafka. A House Rock Built favorite. After Mike Kafka won the starting quarterback job at Northwestern, the jokes kind of wrote themselves. Also a lucrative merchandising target.

19. The Robot. Courtesy of Marco.

20. Dunk. The second half of the Dink & Dunk comedy team, a USC fan who is prone to getting ripped and discharging firearms indoors.

21. Touchdown Jesus. The icon of Notre Dame football. His influence is spreading.

22. Knute Rockne. The one and only, the guy this whole blog is named after and dedicated to. Loves his Akvavit.

23. Lou Holtz. The scrappy, diminutive coach with a lisp who made me fall in love with Notre Dame football.

24. Ara Parseghian. He stopped the rain. He won two national championships. Nuff said.

25. Frank Leahy. No Mt. Rushmore of Notre Dame football is complete without this man.

26. Rumple Minze. The liquor of the gods. The House Rock Built owns a super soaker full of this 100-proof peppermint schnapps that we spray fans with during our publicity events.

27. Sparks. Three words. Hooker Killing Fuel.

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