Constructive Summer

The smell of fresh-cut grass, the mournful whine of police sirens racing after football players fleeing a bar brawl, and the fragrant aroma of mold being blasted out of a long-unused cooler combined with vomit from two-a-days. Football season is near, and there's nowhere to hide from it.

The House Rock Built has had a very constructive summer vacation from blogging. Needless to say, we were all in the need for a little bit of a breather after a soul-crushing year of pigskin in 2007, and The House was no exception. Between growing some mutton chops, recording some tunes, and blasting off to Hong Kong and Thailand for a few weeks to soul-search/feed tigers/father a child with a local/lose hundreds of dollars playing Sic-Bo, the batteries are just about fully recharged. We're locked and loaded for 2008, come hell or high water.

In addition to being back in business, The House Rock Built made some off-season deals that will, with any luck, increase the quality and quantity of content for you to gobble up. In a landmark deal, The House has acquired the services of The Kid from Fire Mark May, a hard-throwing righty whose rise from blogosphere neophyte to award-winning cult icon in a mere year of blogging captured the imagination of a nation. Needless to say, it wasn't cheap, as I had to ship Trev Alberts a carton of Newports, a conditional sixth round draft pick, and release the bodies of three of his recently-killed soldiers. As you'd expect, the exchange took place, like nearly all nefarious dealings do, on a runway of an abandoned airport in The Gambia.

The first known picture of The Kid.

The Kid will be blogging here under the moniker "irishoutsider", so you can probably expect the amount of zany, off-the-wall goofiness to roughly double, depending on work levels and alcohol intake. Cultivating hobbies and relationships are fine and dandy eight months out of the year, but once training camp comes, it's time to kick both to the curb, strap on your beer funnel helmet, and dive feet-first into the churning chumbucket that is the 2008 college football season. Gentlemen, start your engines.

-fightinamish

Granted, it's no "Hot Hot Hot", But...

Did anyone else catch this Stanford ad during the football game on Saturday? If you did, you're probably just as stunned as I am that something as tragic as that could be aired on national television. My YouTubing has revealed that it's part of a series of ads that don't take themselves very seriously, so I suppose Stanford earns a few points for defying the schmaltz-o-meter-topping ads that we customarily expect.

Nonetheless, terrible. Just terrible.

Rumors of the House Rock Built's Demise Have Been Greatly Exaggerated

Well, kids, it's been a while since the House has rapped with you, so I thought I'd drop in and reintroduce myself. Like all of you, I'm struggling through the dark ages of the football offseason and doing whatever I can to keep myself occupied. Between my Vegas trip (and subsequent trial and acquittal), a new job, baseball season, the NHL playoffs, and my triumphant return to the dating scene, there hasn't been much time to keep the House updated, and for that I deeply apologize.

Not a whole lot has happened this last month, but here's a brief rundown of what has gone down under the dome:

• Brady Quinn performed the 7th Inning Stretch at Wrigley Field yesterday, alongside teammates Ryan Harris and Dan Santucci while wearing a Jackie Robinson Dodgers jersey.





• The recruiting class got a bit bigger, as TE Kyle Rudolph, LB David Posluszny (the All-American's younger brother), and LB Anthony McDonald jumped on board. Dogbook capsules will be up soon, but for now, feast away on some Neil Diamond, you junkies.





• The Spring Game is this Saturday. Amazingly, the forecast is calling for temperatures in the 60's and clear skies, which I will believe when I see. The House Rock Built will be out in full force, pounding beers, beating up nerds, and belting out ear-piercing karaoke of Journey's greatest hits. If any readers are in South Bend, you're more than welcome to swing by and say "yo" and pound a beer with the editorial staff. Details will be made available as they arise.

Yeah, You Can Clap if You Feel it. Irish Snag 3 Recruits.

First thing's first... off with those pants. It's motherfucking dancing time.

Now, let's meet our three lucky suitors who jumped onto the ND Choo Choo after a great Junior Weekend in South Bend that might have actually featured a ray or two of sunlight! Alas, the gods of weather smiled upon the 2008 recruiting class.

Braxston Cave, OL, Mishawaka, I N
	Height/Weight/40: 6'4", 290
	Anagramaticus Says: "Convex As Brat"
	HRB Angry Drunk Viking Rating: Six Angry Drunk Vikings, an elephant, and a caveman.
The Lowdown: Braxston has spent his entire life within spitting distance of Notre Dame, and naturally the South Bend native has been a lifelong Irish fan. Hell, he was even named after Irish fullback Braxston Banks. After getting an offer from Notre Dame, Cave didn't hesitate in jumping on board, despite the courtships of Michigan and Florida. At 290, Cave has no shortage of bulk to make an impact on the offensive line, and it's pretty clear that Weis and his staff got plenty of opportunities to watch him play just down the road. Bonus YouTube Footage: Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, "Straight to You". Now that's a mullet to write home about.

John Goodman, WR, Fort Wayne, IN
	Height/Weight/40: 6'4", 185
	Anagramaticus Says: "Jam Hog on Don"
	HRB Angry Drunk Viking Rating: Seven Angry Drunk Vikings, a rug (that really ties the room together), and a Babe Ruth jersey.
The Lowdown: If something works, then stick with it. In this case, it's tall lanky white receivers from Northwest Indiana. Goodman hails from Ft. Wayne, a quick two hour jaunt across Indiana Amish country from Valparaiso, where Jeff Samardzija cut his teeth as a wide receiver. Goodman is also a lifelong Notre Dame fan, and didn't have to think twice when Notre Dame offered a scholarship, even though he had just received an offer from Lloyd Carr. Obviously, he's going to draw comparisons to the Shark right away, so hopefully he can live up to those big shoes to fill. My advice? Stop cutting your hair. Bonus YouTube Footage: John Goodman's best performance: The Big Lebowski. Slightly Edited Version (NSFW).

Sean Cwynar, DE, Woodstock, IL
	Height/Weight/40: 6'4", 280
	Anagramaticus Says: "Bash in Trim"
	HRB Angry Drunk Viking Rating: Eight Angry Drunk Vikings, a rhinocerous, and a Chicago Dog with the works.
The Lowdown: Nasty Irish defenders and last names with no vowels go together like chicken and waffles, so Cwynar's commitment is a big boon to the newfangled D in South Bend. Now if we could get some more D-linemen with last names like Szczercztyr or Hnignygnagnyn, we'll have one of the more fearsome lines in the country. Cwynar is a big dude, but his highlight video shows a guy who's curiously quick on his feet, which makes him a good candidate to play DE in the new 3-4 scheme. Cwynar's also no slouch in the classroom, as he currently has a 4.2 GPA (which I originally mistook for his 40 time, causing me to spew orange Gatorade all over my monitor). Another impressive thing about Cwynar's recruitment is how great of a job Corwin Brown has been doing in his brief tenure. Notre Dame has always been a tough contendor in Chicagoland, but Brown's connections to the area are already starting to turn the Windy City into a pipeline for talent. Bonus YouTube Footage: Everyone's favorite Welshman: Tom Jones.

The New Banner is Up!

Well, with the changing times and graduating players, I've decided to revamp the old banner. The theme is "Fightinamish and Friends" and the banner is styled in the manner of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club. It's kind of a tribute to all the personalities who have made these last two years so successful and hilarious.

Essentially, the banner is serving as the House Rock Built's hall of fame. Henceforth, then, if somebody does something awesome or notorious, they can earn their way into the pantheon of the banner. You'll notice that three recently-graduated players made it to the hall, and the House is proud to induct Darius Walker, Brady Quinn, and Jeff Samardzija into the inagural wall of fame class. All three of them had achievements during the career that had a great impact on the team and this website, and are worthy inductees.

If you're an avid reader, you'll probably recognize most of these characters, but if you're a bit confused, here's a handy reader's guide:

(click image for full-size)

1. HR Pufnustuf. Pufnstuf gained immediate fame in college football when Mike Valenti demanded he be hired as Michigan State's defensive coordinator. There's a pretty good chance you've already heard Valenti's rant a thousand times, but you should fire it up one last time, for nostalgia's sake.

2. Darius Walker. Michigan, 2004. An unheralded freshman hops off the bench and singlehandedly propels the Irish to victory. He was small, he was slow, and at times I screamed terrible things about him, but he was the centerpiece to the Irish offense for three years and an invaluable asset. Shifty and tenacious, he fought for every yard, caught every pass that was thrown to him, and never ever fumbled the ball. An obvoius choice for the HRB's pantheon.

3. H. Mervin Longfellows. The notorious booster, he dreams of a simpler time when boosters lived by an unwritten code when they paid their players.

4. Papa John. Urban Meyer's identical twin.

5. Neil Diamond. It's a tradition at HRB to get naked and dance to Neil Diamond every time we get a new recruit.

6. Alec Baldwin. The single greatest living actor of all time. Period.

7. Jeff Samardzija

Crazy hair, crazy catches. Rotted on the bench for two years under Willingham and became a two-time All-American under Weis. I can't even count the number of times he blew my mind with electrifying catches, huge plays, and heroism.

8. All-Hairmerican Award. The highest honor bestowed by the House Rock Built. Each year, we compile the All-Hairmerican Team for the greatest hairdos in college football.

9. Anagramaticus. The wise prophet of college football. He rearranges letters to discover hidden truths.

10. Howard Schnellenberger. A badass mustache-sporter who earned the esteem of the House Rock Built for his voting tendencies. He occasionally submits pearls of wisdom to the House Rock Built. 11. Andy French. The patron saint of getting wrecked, calling football coaches, and screaming inappropriate things. The inspiration for the House Rock Built's Andy French Cup.

12. The Orgeron. The deranged, psychotic cajun from Ole Miss, he serves as a constant inspiration for House Rock Built insanity. He also writes his own blog called Every Day Should Be Lemsday.

13. Orvis P. Sexton. The House Rock Built's resident gonzo journalist. Wherever there's booze, recreational drugs, and a football game, you can expect to see him with his notepad and pen.

14. Wilford Brimley. The long-lost twin of Purdue coach Joe Tiller, he demands that you eat your damn oatmeal.

15. Dink. A tough-luck Notre Dame fan and co-star of the House Rock Built's official comic strip, Dink & Dunk.

16. Stanford Tree. The worst mascot in sports, and victim of a gangland shooting last year. Charlie Weis is still a person of interest.

17. Brady Quinn. Quinn took over a program in desperate shape and spent four years getting his bones crushed. He never backed down, he never complained, and at the end of his tenure, he had piloted Notre Dame into a new era of offensive prowess. He's the man.

18. Franz Kafka. A House Rock Built favorite. After Mike Kafka won the starting quarterback job at Northwestern, the jokes kind of wrote themselves. Also a lucrative merchandising target.

19. The Robot. Courtesy of Marco.

20. Dunk. The second half of the Dink & Dunk comedy team, a USC fan who is prone to getting ripped and discharging firearms indoors.

21. Touchdown Jesus. The icon of Notre Dame football. His influence is spreading.

22. Knute Rockne. The one and only, the guy this whole blog is named after and dedicated to. Loves his Akvavit.

23. Lou Holtz. The scrappy, diminutive coach with a lisp who made me fall in love with Notre Dame football.

24. Ara Parseghian. He stopped the rain. He won two national championships. Nuff said.

25. Frank Leahy. No Mt. Rushmore of Notre Dame football is complete without this man.

26. Rumple Minze. The liquor of the gods. The House Rock Built owns a super soaker full of this 100-proof peppermint schnapps that we spray fans with during our publicity events.

27. Sparks. Three words. Hooker Killing Fuel.

We Now Have Four Smiths in Our Linebacking Corps, All We Need Now is a Morrissey

I came home from school one day in tears with a bloody nose. See, the local bully had demanded my lunch money, and upon refusal to fork over the goods, he clocked me right in the mug and swiped my cash while I was writhing on the ground. After patching me up and drying away my tears, my old man looked me in the eye and told me to suck it up. Real men don't cry when they get bullied around, they pick themselves up, march back onto the playground, and find an even smaller kid and beat the hell out of him and take his lunch money.

A couple days later the police raided our house and took him back to jail after a frantic 48 hour manhunt.

But look at me getting all nostalgic. Anyway, the point of this story is that when Urban Meyer comes into your house and pushes you around, Charlie Weis took it like a man and went nextdoor to Iowa to steal one of their best defensive recruits. Notre Dame scored a verbal commitment from linebacker Brian Smith, who backed out of his prior commitment to the University of Iowa to play ball with the Irish. Smith is a legacy (his father, Chris, was a fullback for Notre Dame back in the day) who apparently has wanted to go to ND since day one, but was just now offered a scholarship. He's got some good natural talent and will add depth to a linebacker position that can use all the talent we can find.

This brings the grand total of Smiths on our defense to four, with linebackers Scott Smith and Toryan Smith on the roster, plus incoming freshman Harrison Smith slated to come next fall. Suffice to say, we're going to have to make an exception to the "Strip naked and sing Neil Diamond" tradition for announcing a new recruit and fire up some Morrissey.

Please, please, please let us get a Defensive Lineman. Lord knows, it would be the first time.

UPDATE: Morrissey-philes, you might find my latest post on The Fanhouse to be right in your wheelhouse.

Anyone Heard this Album?

I just got a new CD this weekend. I'm still trying to figure out how to take it out of the packaging (damn you, sausage fingers!), so I haven't listened to it yet. I've got high hopes. Anybody else heard it? Opinions?

Irish Score Commitment From Fastest Guy in Class of '11

Speed is a very subjective thing, and it's very hard to quantify "football speed" and make sense of 40 times that might be "wind-aided", "hand-timed", or "thrown down a very steep hill" and the like. That being said, Armando Allen is really, really, really fast. And this morning, he made a verbal commitment to suit up for the Irish, spurning Urban Meyer and his home-state Gators. Suffice to say, this is a huge get for the Irish, as Armando provides that gamebreaking speed that the team hasn't really found on the offensive side of the ball in recent years.

Anyway, here's his highlight film, which kind of has that grainy Zapprouder film quality to it and, horror of horrors, no bitchin' rock & roll soundtrack behind it (what the hell?) Fortunately, I've come up with a way for you to fully enjoy the tape. Just hit "play" on both of these YouTube files at the same time and rock out.

Blogpoll: Saint Barbara Don't Let Me Explode! Edition

Rank	Team	Delta
1	Ohio State	--
2	Michigan	--
3	Rutgers	9
4	Southern Cal	5
5	Florida	--
6	Arkansas	4
7	Notre Dame	1
8	Louisville	5
9	Wake Forest	9
10	Boise State	3
11	Wisconsin	3
12	LSU	1
13	Auburn	9
14	Texas	7
15	Tennessee	--
16	Georgia Tech	1
17	West Virginia	2
18	California	12
19	Boston College	7
20	Oklahoma	4
21	Maryland	2
22	Brigham Young	2
23	Nebraska	2
24	Virginia Tech	2
25	Hawaii	--
Dropped Out: Texas A&M (#20), Oregon (#22).

Before I unveil this week's blogpoll, let us bow our heads in a solemn prayer to Saint Barbara, the patron saint of Landmines, artillery gunmen, and, according to Wikipedia, anyone who works at risk of sudden and violent death. This week, a veritable gaggle of teams saw their championship dreams meet a bloody and merciless end, a slew of attrition that is nearly unprecedented in these late weeks of November. And, alas, I'm stuck in the position of trying to make sense of the wreckage and aftermath, matching dismembered limbs of teams with their appropriate ranking. It's a gory job, but dammit if I'm not going to try.


Make that three consecutive blogpolls with a Hold Steady reference.

• One and two. Catch you cats this weekend.



• Rutgers... and a Xanax, please. I vascillated on this one for a while, but at the end of the day, I felt it would be disingenous if I didn't give them a rocket ride. I had Louisville at number three last week, and when they are beaten by a team from their own conference that is also undefeated, I can't think of a good reason to give Rutgers the exact same treatment. I'm literally losing my mind at the thought of putting the State University of Rutgers this high, since that puts me under some sort of obligation to bump them to number freaking two after the UM-OSU game. Mind... exploding. Clocks... melting. Beam me up, God.



I am un chien Andalousia.


• 4 through 8 have some national championship aspirations. And there has been a pretty big shakeup. USC takes a big jump for a variety of reasons. In addition to their unholy vengeful beatdown of Oregon, I'm seeing their big win over Arkansas in a different light each week that the Hogs stubbornly refuse to collapse and vindicate my preseason bashing. I had to make a big decision this week whether to rank these teams by the quality of their wins or the quality of their losses. USC sports the best win and the worst loss in the group, so it's difficult to know exactly what to do with them.
  
  At the end of the day, I decided to go by win quality, as I plan to keep that the hallmark of this poll. The reason? 1993. Notre Dame and Florida state finished the year with one loss apiece. Notre Dame had the best win of the group, beating... you guessed it, Florida State. However, Florida State had a higher quality loss... against Notre Dame as opposed to ND's loss to Boston College. It's a tricky paradox to think that Notre Dame punished itself by being successful and thus making the Seminoles' loss more forgivable. I don't like that strain of circular logic, and I'm going to instead put more value on quality wins than quality losses.
  
  Ergo, your next five, based on their best win's ranking. USC beat Arkansas (6), Florida beat LSU (12), Arkansas beat Auburn (13), Notre Dame beat Georgia Tech (16), and Louisville beat West Virginia (17). It's a very, horribly, insanely imperfect science, but I gotta do what I gotta do.



• And... uh, the rest. Done with a combination of schedule strength, victory chains, and of course my trusty dartboard.
  
  

So that's that. Next week is going to be even more crazy.

So I'm Talking to this Girl from the UCLA Nation...

So UCLA's running back's name is Chris Markey (pronounced Marquee). Just reading it, it seems like a pretty normal, non-comical name. But wait, not so fast my friend. Every time he had a carry (19 of them for 34 whopping yards), the PA announcer in the stadium came on and said:

Chris Markey rushes for two yards.

The funny thing is, he would say it so fast that it sounded exactly like he was saying:

Biz Markie rushes for two yards

This, naturally, was a hysterical happenstance which caused the Irish Outsider and I to immediately burst into a rousing round of "You! You got what I neeee-eeeed!". Every. Single. Time.

Maybe there's something wrong with me, you know, psychologically. But if howling out the greatest anthematic song in history at the top of our lungs is wrong, goddammit, I don't want to be right.


Fast forward to 1:34. Turn up volume. Sing as loud as you can. Drink 40 ouncer. Repeat.

UPDATE: Holy crap popsicle! Is Biz Markie wearing a Notre Dame shirt?

Really?

Southern Cal's marching band performed Cobra Starship's "Snakes on a Plane" during their halftime show of the Washington State game.

You. Magnificent. Bastards.

(HT: boifromtroy @ The Fanhouse)

Blogpoll Roundtable: Coming to America

Blogpoll number six is up over @mgo. If you didn't see it already, the House Rock Built won "Mr. Bold" (for highest deviation from the rest of the poll) for the third week this season. Any day now, Brian's going to cave in and rename that award after me. I stand by my ballot to the death. Texas is barely worthy of top 25 consideration until they win a real-life football game, and anyone who has West Virginia in the top 10 cannot bitch and moan about me having Boise State in the top 10. Go ahead, try to convince me that wins over Marshall, Maryland and ECU are more impressive than wins over Oregon State, Wyoming, Hawaii and Utah. I'll be waiting.

Anyway, this week's roundtable is also up, hosted by CrossCyed, who took some time off of his meth lab to host this roundtable (sorry, that's the only Iowa sterotype I know...) There's a lot of questions about "conference play", so obviously I'm going to have to be creative to address some of them. I often forget that many of those great unwashed programs who aren't independent often trouble themselves with things like their "conference". Weirdos.

1. We're about halfway through the season at this point. Have you gotten a gauge on your team's chances this year to make noise in conference play, or is the team still a total freaking mystery?

I think we've all got a pretty good read on this year's Irish team. Our hopes that we'd catch lightning in a bottle and find a magnificent championship-caliber defense have more or less fizzled, and we're left with the reality we were trying to avoid all offseason with our irrational exuberance. At the end of the day, the Irish defense is decent enough to hold off inferior teams long enough for the soul-crushing behemoth robot-monster offense to put the game away, but they've shown some slips and regressions against superior offensive squads.

The Irish are going to roll through the squishy part of their schedule with their offense, and are going to have to get into shootouts with the more adept teams. Fortunately, there's really only two big tests left on this season's schedule, so hopefully everybody will be able to pull together a great game against the Trojans in LA, then regroup and strap one on and win their bowl game.

2. Many of the bigger conferences such as the Big 12 and the Big 10 use a rotating schedule to determine conference games each year. What are your feelings on the current system used in your conference? Does a rotating schedule work? Has your team always caught a break?

Um... pass.

3. In an effort to get to know more about college football, both nationally and regionally, what have you done to expand your college football horizons? Have you caught yourself watching games from other conferences, or taking an interest in games that show up on ESPNU or Fox Sports?

While some folks begrudge it, I'm a big fan of midweek football, as it has has really helped open my horizons to mid-majors and ACC teams desperate for some notoriety. It's also great background noise for my late-night blogging sessions. I feel like I know Southern Miss better than my own mother.

Is that you, mommy?

4. What would you change about the current exposure your team gets, either on the radio, television, print, or on the internet?

Let's see: national television contract, syndicated radio broadcasts, regular appearances as "game of the week" for road games, the tireless abuse of legions of haters in print, television, and broadcast, a ton of bloggers (and more sprouting every day), and a violent, seething mob of internet trolls spouting vitriol about Notre Dame any opportunity they get. I love it and wouldn't dream of changing a goddamn thing.

5. During last Saturday's game against I-AA Northern Iowa, Iowa State trailed 21-7 at the half. The Cyclone Marching Band played a variety of songs from animated shows, including selections from South Park titled "Blame Canada" and "What Would Brian Boitano Do?" Needless to say, the Cyclones outscored the Panthers 21-6 in the second half. If you had to pick one song for your favorite team to rally to, what would it be? Because we all know what they did for the 2005 White Sox, Journey and "Don't Stop Believing" are not to be considered.

Generally, I think marching band arrangements of popular songs are pretty weak and forced. That being said, when I'm feeling blue, there is only one man in the whole world who can slap me in the face, throw me out of bed, dunk my head in the toilet, smoke all my cigarettes, and inspire me to march my scrawny ass out there and take on the world. Neil Fucking Diamond. Plus, his initials are "ND", so he's got that going for him.

Why, oh why, do you kick so much ass?

Let's Tussle, Michigan Bloggers!

Tonight's top story: in a landmark achievement in diplomacy, two bloggers of hated enemy teams set aside their differences for a night and talk some football. I caught up with Brian Cook from mgoblog and, after donning our traditional Mexican Wrestling outfits, we got down to business. We had some laughs, some tears, and I think I might have been illegally fishhooked. But, alas, my gracious visitor brought along Big Ten refs who turned a blind eye to it.

On a serious note, Brian is just about the best there is at this blogging game, and while I've often bragged at the top of my voice while drunk in many a bar that I wouldn't piss on most Michigan fans if they were on fire, my straight-shooting chat with Brian gave me a moment of cognitive dissonance for my blind and completely irrational hatred.

Anyways, Part One is up at mgo, so after you've leafed it over, here is the thrilling conclusion:

I feel like a big part of this game's result is going to come down to that matchup of Notre Dame's D-Line against Michigan's O-Line.  If the Irish can stop or at least limit Michigan's run game, it will be a huge advantage.  Are you of the same mind, and are there any other matchups that you think are crucial?

The mirror universe matchup of Michigan's defensive line and weird LB/DE hybrid Shawn Crable against the ND passing game.  The first drive of the PSU-ND game I managed to see was the final one of the first half and it was an eerie recreation of ND's first drive versus Michigan last year: the defense sat back and got shredded. I don't think we'll sit back given English's propensity to send the house with gusto, but those blitzes have to get to Quinn, otherwise it'll be more of hurl-it-to-Smarjadjaizakziaka and Brian sad.

Well, this Brian anyway.

After the Vandy game I was giddy, but pressure was far less frequent against Central. We also dialed down the blitzing on a couple of respectable Chippewa drives.

No doubt about it.  I still don't understand why defensive coordinators still drop guys into coverage and challenge Quinn to beat them with short pass and no pressure. When Quinn has all day, he hurts people, steals their girlfriend, and then kicks sand in their face.

I think -- think -- we won't make that mistake.

So what's the story with Michigan's coaching staff shakeup?  Have you seen a noticeable change in how the games are called, or is it too early to judge?

Things appear wholly different on the defense. Last year Michigan was the kind of team to rush three on third and long; this year they're sending six with great consistency. Against spread formations and in passing situations we've been deploying a 3-3-5 with Branch, Woodley, and Jamison/Biggs on the defensive line with Crable functioning as a defensive end. There's been man coverage and stuff -- something we avoided like it was ebola-covered colon cancer a year ago. Everyone is pleased with the early returns.

The offense is different but also the same. We've implemented a much-ballyhooed zone rushing attack a la Minnesota or the Broncos which has crooshed silly pig foes. You might say "wait that's just CMU and Vandy," but Vandy just held Alabama to 3.4 YPC and CMU's defensive line is actually pretty good. I'm not ready to declare it a machine yet, but it is much, much better than last year. Also returning in style: the waggle. It's the perfect counter to the zone game and Michigan tight ends have been open by yards when we run it. So alot of the actual execution has changed.

What hasn't changed is the philosophy: slow and steady wins the Citrus Bowl bid.

Wait a minute, did i just hear you talking up Vandy and Central Michigan? No disrespect to these fine programs, but I think one can safely say that the Irish are heading into this game with the advantage of having tuned up against more meaningful competition. Is this a concern for you?

I do think the rushing results against Vandy and CMU are less than totally meaningless. That's as far as I want to take my praise. I'm actually not sure how much more we know about how ND stacks up against what Michigan is going to try to do on offense. Georgia Tech's running game was reggie ball and some zone reads. Penn State is breaking in four new offensive linemen and has a pretty mediocre RB. Michigan is going to try to pound ND all day. I don't know that we've learned all that much about ND's run defense.

How has your RT been holding up, by the way? He's a true freshman, after all.

I have been nothing but impressed with Sam Young. He's the first true freshman to ever start on the offensive line in game one, and that's counting all those years with leather helmets and four-point touchdowns. I've been paying pretty close attention to him... he's huge and he does a great job at mauling defenders and taking them out of the play. I have no doubt that he will be an All-American someday. No, scratch that, Heisman trophy winner.  TWO Heisman trophies.  Write that down.

How will he ever get them away from Emu?

They're going to make a new trophy for Jimmy Clausen. The Heisman is too pedestrian. Seriously, though, Sam Young has been very good, and that's good because the Irish were really desperate for somebody to step up at that RT spot.  He still looks like a freshman sometimes and he's still learning the nuances, but when he locks on and drives ahead, it's pancake city, baby.

It'll be interesting to see him versus Woodley/Crable/Biggs/Jamison. I hope he struggles. I do know that going into the year DE looked like a huge weak spot for PSU. No idea about GT... and Young did get pulled in that game for some reason or another. That matchup will be key.

Well we've covered a lot about the big uglies.  I guess we should at least take a gander at the skill position battles.  So, uh, has Steve Breaston learned how to catch yet?  If they gave yardage for getting one hand on a ball, Steve probably would have shattered every NCAA receiving record by now.

He dropped a slant between the numbers in our opener but hasn't made a real gaffe other than that. of course, he hasn't been asked to make any difficult catches. (Not that there have been any to make: Michigan's thrown one pass longer than about 15 yards, a 28-ish yard touchdown to Manningham late against Vandy.) He's been playing like people expect him to at this point: four or five catches, half of them screens, good yardage on those, but not Desmond Howard. I bet you see an end around to him, maybe a reverse, a few screens, and a few throws downfield. Add in kick/punt returns he should have around 15 touches. He's still a threat to do something ridiculous whenever he gets one of those touches but he's not a terror like we thought he'd be.

Michigan's hardly thrown in its first two games so it's hard to judge the WR core.

Especially because DeBord loves him some tight ends.

And who among us can blame him?

Sir Mix-a-Lot?

So, how hot is Lloyd Carr's seat?  I mean, other than being hunted down and beaten by you personally, is he in any other danger if he puts up another disappointing season? Like possibly an unwanted mandatory promotion?

(did you notice i used the proper number of L's?  See, not all Notre Dame fans are savages.)

Shocking indeed. I've gone on record far too often about this: he's not in any danger. Michigan just doesn't roll like that. It would take something really horrific to bring his job under threat, like a repeat of last year, and even then I don't think he'd get fired. And there are much greater threats to Lloyd Carr's person than me. Like, say, Joey.

Well, that should about wrap it up. I guess somebody has to go through this and correct all of my spelling and punctuation errors.

123 not it.

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Well, hopefully that was informative. Brian will be joining me for this week's Friday Night Lites, so we can touch on anything we overlooked here. My general impression from my chat is that this game is going to be won and lost in the trenches by the big, scary men who try to hurt people. You know what you're going to get with the skill players, and there's plenty of TNT on both teams to break it open. The key is which team will be able to dominate the line of scrimmage and give their playmakers an opportunity to scamper around the open pastures of Notre Dame stadium.