It's Saturday!!!!

Hey... Go Irish.

And Now, Your Inevitable Yakety Sax Video

Take your medicine, Wolverines. Take your medicine:

It's crunchy and delicious.

Rogue Bigfoot Hunters Trap and Kill Leprechaun in Northern Indiana

SOUTH BEND - Hot off the heels of their recent capture of Bigfoot in northern Georgia, soldiers of fortune-cum-cryptozoologists Rick Dyer and Matt Whitton made good on their promise to hunt down and bring to justice a veritable who's who of mythical creatures ranging from Sasquatch to the Loch Ness Monster by bagging one of the world's most elusive and intriguing cryptoids, the leprechaun.

In a dramatic outdoor press conference outside of South Bend, IN, the infamous duo posed with their latest prey, stuffed quite ingloriously into a ramshackle freezer. The specimen, a diminutive, five-foot, five-inch bearded hominid with puffy red cheeks and a snappy green suit and cap, appeared quite convincing to the amateur and professional leprechaun enthusiasts in the crowd, although more skeptical cryptozoologists are awaiting further scientific testing on the remains before jumping to any conclusions.

"After thoroughly researching the mythology of the leprechaun and interviewing scores of eyewitnesses, we were able to sketch out a ten-mile range that we suspected comprised the leprechaun's habitat," Whitton remarked, clicking briskly through a PowerPoint presentation for the media on hand. "We noticed an abnormally large of sightings focused around the South Bend and Mishawaka area in Indiana, clustered mainly around an old, ivy-covered region nestled between two lakes that the locals call 'Notra Dayme'. The village folk warned us that it was a mysterious place full of strange religious intrigue full of great peril, but we persevered on into the uncharted areas and saw our stakeout through."

Whitton described spotting the bizarre, tiny magical humanoid creature in the very early hours of Saturday morning staggering out of a local drinking establishment, and the brief but harrowing firefight that ensued. In the end, magic or no magic, the pixie was no match for Whitton and Dyer's arsenal of modified assault rifles and body armor.

Noted cryptozoologist Loren Coleman, editor of Cryptomundo.com, responded with cautious hope about the veracity of the find. "While most contemporary experts on leprechauns felt that their habitat was limited to the hilly Irish countryside or, as some offshoot schools of thought have suggested, Mobile, Alabama, it's easy to see a migratory pattern that would place it in that region of Indiana."

Preliminary DNA tests on some samples from the corpse have been inconclusive, but further analysis will continue.

When asked what's next for the intrepid hunters, Dyer hinted that they are hot on the trail of a very bizarre half-human, half-orange cryptoid that has haunted the wilderness of upstate New York for nearly half a century. "We're closing in on him fast," he remarked, then added with a sly wink, "Don't be surprised if we're calling another press conference reaaaal soon."

A Historical Primer on College Football Training Camp Outbreaks

Allright, you snickerpusses. Go ahead and have a laugh at the expense of the inflamed groins of Southern Cal's football team. As hard-working, decent football fans who love wang jokes, you're entitled to titter at the misfortunes of the Trojans, who are currently in the midst of a virulent outbreak of jock itch that has consumed fully 25 percent of the team. But before you get too out of control judging USC on this comical scene ripped straight from the pages of Revenge of the Nerds (or, if you're into that whole divine retribution thing, The Ten Commandments), keep in mind that college football has battled with infectious diseases since the very first days of the sport.

Naturally, when you combine several dozen sweaty strapping ballplayers in a low-on-personal-space community like a football training camp, you're creating a very loving environment for scores of creepy crawlies and pathogens to perpetuate their parasitic lifestyles unencumbered. And while USC might be the butt (or groin, if you will) of immature jokes today, they are not the first and certainly won't be the last team to battle microbial pandemics during training camp. A brief historical primer on the top moments in Training Camp Epidemiology:

• 1993, University of Georgia. Jumping Frenchman of Maine Syndrome. In what was otherwise an unspectacular season for the Ray Goff's Bulldogs, the early weeks of August provided a great amount of excitement when recurrences of Jumping Frenchman of Maine Syndrome scorched through training camp. The administration did their best to cover up the outbreak, but as the disease, which hadn't been observed on such a scale since George Miller Berard's 1878 discovery, spread into double digits, a quarantine unit from the CDC was called down to investigate and monitor the situation. Their findings indicated there was no risk for further contamination outside of the camp, and in time the outbreak petered out without any documented fatalities.
  
  
  
• 1981, University of Notre Dame. Dr. Strangelove Syndrome.
  Hopes were running high in South Bend as new coach Gerry Faust stepped on campus, but things took a chilling turn for the worst on a hot day during training camp when Faust's left hand began acting entirely on its own free will. While the training staff initially brushed it off as a result of the stress of taking on one of college football's most demanding jobs, things took a turn for the drastic when two days later, future star tight end Mark Bavaro came down with identical symptoms. Two days later, a ten year old girl in South Bend and an incorrigible boarder collie from Mishawaka named Scraps were stricken, and the town was immediately placed under quarantine. For two agonizing weeks, national guard troops barricaded off the greater South Bend area while harried CDC directors briefed President Ronald Reagan about his heart-wrenching options should the disease break through the quarantine.
  
  Fortunately, the disease was stopped in its tracks during the quarantine, and the barricade was lifted in northwest Indiana. While there were no human fatalities, Scraps did perish in a tragic accident attributed to his free-minded paw. An animated movie documenting his heroic struggle during the dark days of the quarantine come out in 1985, to almost universally negative reviews.
  
  
  
• 1951, Colorado State University. Severe Hiccups.
  A case of chronic hiccups tore through Fort Collins in 1951, striking down nearly 2,000 students and faculty for nearly two months. With the entire coaching staff and nearly all of the players in the throes of agonizing hiccups, coach Bob Davis had little choice the first three games of the season, derailing a promising season for the Rams.



• 1888, Cornell. Koro
  While on its surface, the idea of an entire football team being stricken with Genital Retraction Syndrome seems hilarious, the epidemic and resulting Penis Panic that arose from Ithaca in 1888 is anything but funny. While widespread panics about genital theft is almost only found in the more remote areas of Southeast Asia and Africa, it sprung onto the scene in upstate New York with a vengeance in August of 1888, washing over the entire college and surrounding town in a matter of weeks. In a frenzy, many separate gangs of vigilantes took to the streets the bring to justice the alleged "penis-snatchers", and in a terrifying span of 72 hours, 14 suspected genitalnappers were gunned down, bludgeoned, or strung up in town square. Even more lives were lost as the overmatched police tried to disperse the mobs. Terrified and outmatched, the local law enforcement deserted en masse and left the city to the scraggly groups of bandits who continued their purge of witches for the next several months.
  
  
  
  Almost all records are lost from this lawless period, so it's impossible to come up with an estimate on the amount of carnage. In the autumn of 1888, refugees cautiously returned to the city with police and military escorts, and found, to their shock, a very calm and collected populace who had no memory of any violence occurring. After extinguishing a few fires in burnt-out buildings downtown, the refugees returned and normalcy returned to Ithaca. The Big Red even returned to action on the field, playing their opening game on October 28 against Palmyra High School, which they easily won, 26-0.

So there you have it, a quick primer on training camp outbreaks. So judge not, House Rock Built readers, for it's anyone's guess which campus will be the next victim. In the meantime, stay vigilant and do what I do to stay healthy: wash your hands in boiling bleach ten times a day.

Lord Gamblor Giveth, and Lord Gamblor Taketh Away

Those of you keeping score at home are probably wondering if the House Rock Built is still alive, after a disastrous gambling incident resulting in not one, not two, but six fucking slaps being dealt upon your beloved fightinamish. Fire Mark May has the blow-by-blow, and the official video of the street justice that ensued. Everybody under 17 years old, please leave the room. This video is not for innocent eyes.

What did the five fingers say to the face?

Rumors of the House Rock Built's Demise Have Been Greatly Exaggerated

Well, kids, it's been a while since the House has rapped with you, so I thought I'd drop in and reintroduce myself. Like all of you, I'm struggling through the dark ages of the football offseason and doing whatever I can to keep myself occupied. Between my Vegas trip (and subsequent trial and acquittal), a new job, baseball season, the NHL playoffs, and my triumphant return to the dating scene, there hasn't been much time to keep the House updated, and for that I deeply apologize.

Not a whole lot has happened this last month, but here's a brief rundown of what has gone down under the dome:

• Brady Quinn performed the 7th Inning Stretch at Wrigley Field yesterday, alongside teammates Ryan Harris and Dan Santucci while wearing a Jackie Robinson Dodgers jersey.





• The recruiting class got a bit bigger, as TE Kyle Rudolph, LB David Posluszny (the All-American's younger brother), and LB Anthony McDonald jumped on board. Dogbook capsules will be up soon, but for now, feast away on some Neil Diamond, you junkies.





• The Spring Game is this Saturday. Amazingly, the forecast is calling for temperatures in the 60's and clear skies, which I will believe when I see. The House Rock Built will be out in full force, pounding beers, beating up nerds, and belting out ear-piercing karaoke of Journey's greatest hits. If any readers are in South Bend, you're more than welcome to swing by and say "yo" and pound a beer with the editorial staff. Details will be made available as they arise.

Yeah, You Can Clap if You Feel it. Irish Snag 3 Recruits.

First thing's first... off with those pants. It's motherfucking dancing time.

Now, let's meet our three lucky suitors who jumped onto the ND Choo Choo after a great Junior Weekend in South Bend that might have actually featured a ray or two of sunlight! Alas, the gods of weather smiled upon the 2008 recruiting class.

Braxston Cave, OL, Mishawaka, I N
	Height/Weight/40: 6'4", 290
	Anagramaticus Says: "Convex As Brat"
	HRB Angry Drunk Viking Rating: Six Angry Drunk Vikings, an elephant, and a caveman.
The Lowdown: Braxston has spent his entire life within spitting distance of Notre Dame, and naturally the South Bend native has been a lifelong Irish fan. Hell, he was even named after Irish fullback Braxston Banks. After getting an offer from Notre Dame, Cave didn't hesitate in jumping on board, despite the courtships of Michigan and Florida. At 290, Cave has no shortage of bulk to make an impact on the offensive line, and it's pretty clear that Weis and his staff got plenty of opportunities to watch him play just down the road. Bonus YouTube Footage: Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, "Straight to You". Now that's a mullet to write home about.

John Goodman, WR, Fort Wayne, IN
	Height/Weight/40: 6'4", 185
	Anagramaticus Says: "Jam Hog on Don"
	HRB Angry Drunk Viking Rating: Seven Angry Drunk Vikings, a rug (that really ties the room together), and a Babe Ruth jersey.
The Lowdown: If something works, then stick with it. In this case, it's tall lanky white receivers from Northwest Indiana. Goodman hails from Ft. Wayne, a quick two hour jaunt across Indiana Amish country from Valparaiso, where Jeff Samardzija cut his teeth as a wide receiver. Goodman is also a lifelong Notre Dame fan, and didn't have to think twice when Notre Dame offered a scholarship, even though he had just received an offer from Lloyd Carr. Obviously, he's going to draw comparisons to the Shark right away, so hopefully he can live up to those big shoes to fill. My advice? Stop cutting your hair. Bonus YouTube Footage: John Goodman's best performance: The Big Lebowski. Slightly Edited Version (NSFW).

Sean Cwynar, DE, Woodstock, IL
	Height/Weight/40: 6'4", 280
	Anagramaticus Says: "Bash in Trim"
	HRB Angry Drunk Viking Rating: Eight Angry Drunk Vikings, a rhinocerous, and a Chicago Dog with the works.
The Lowdown: Nasty Irish defenders and last names with no vowels go together like chicken and waffles, so Cwynar's commitment is a big boon to the newfangled D in South Bend. Now if we could get some more D-linemen with last names like Szczercztyr or Hnignygnagnyn, we'll have one of the more fearsome lines in the country. Cwynar is a big dude, but his highlight video shows a guy who's curiously quick on his feet, which makes him a good candidate to play DE in the new 3-4 scheme. Cwynar's also no slouch in the classroom, as he currently has a 4.2 GPA (which I originally mistook for his 40 time, causing me to spew orange Gatorade all over my monitor). Another impressive thing about Cwynar's recruitment is how great of a job Corwin Brown has been doing in his brief tenure. Notre Dame has always been a tough contendor in Chicagoland, but Brown's connections to the area are already starting to turn the Windy City into a pipeline for talent. Bonus YouTube Footage: Everyone's favorite Welshman: Tom Jones.

Your Class of 2007 Dogbook: Big Uglies Edition

Part Two of Three of the introduction to the latest freshman class, here's the lowdown on the linemen from this year's class.

Your Class of 2007 Dogbook: Big Uglies Edition

Matt Romine, OL, Tulsa, OK
	Height/Weight/40: 6'6", 270, 5.2
	Anagramaticus Says: "I'm a Torment"
	HRB Angry Drunk Viking Rating: Eight Angry Drunk Vikings, an elephant, and a Covered Wagon.
The Lowdown: Romine (pronounced Row-mine, not Rom-mini, as I thought previously) was the lone bit of good news for the Irish at the 2007 Army All-American game, when he committed to Notre Dame in a pre-game hat ceremony. Romine had a huge upside on the offensive line and his commitment was a huge victory for the Irish in drawing top talent out of the notoriously off-limits state of Oklahoma. Romine was recruited heavily by his in-state Sooners, and had Notre Dame fans on edge right up until signing day due to the persistence of Bob Stoops and his staff. Romine was chosen as one of the captains for the west squad of the All-American Bowl and handled himself very admirably at tackle while matched up against the superhuman group of defensive ends on the East squad. Bonus YouTube Footage: "Romine" is one letter from "Bromine", one of nature's more volatile chemicals. Don't believe me? Have a look.

Taylor Dever, OL, Grass Valley, CA
	Height/Weight/40: 6'6", 300, 5.3
	Anagramaticus Says: "Overly Rated"
	HRB Angry Drunk Viking Rating: Six Angry Drunk Vikings, a rhinocerous, and a Beatles Haircut.
The Lowdown: Dever was a big sleeper in the class of 2007. Hailling from the fairly remote confines of Grass Valley, CA (a few miles outside of the curiously-named "Rough and Ready, CA", for what it's worth), Dever flew under the radar of most college programs for the entire recruiting process. However, Dever had a huge growh spurt and added a bunch of weight to his frame, subuseqently having a very dominating season his senior year. At that point, the big-time suitors came calling. Miami(FL) and Nebraska offered him and every school on the west coast started calling him up. Fortunately, Notre Dame was a step ahead of the curve and fired out an early scholarship offer to Dever, who accepted it almost immediately after a visit from the coaching staff. Dever was a great example of proactive recruiting and the payoff for a coaching staff that is able to discover talent and get a foot in the door before everyone else. Dever might need some time to get his body into shape for the college game, but he has a huge frame and all the makings of a big-time contributor. Bonus YouTube Footage: Math-rock duo Hella's "Republic of Rough & Ready". They're from Sacramento, too.

Emeka Nwankwo, OL/DL, Hollywood, FL
	Height/Weight/40: 6'5", 270, 5.2
	Anagramaticus Says: "Weak Know Mean"
	HRB Angry Drunk Viking Rating: Seven Angry Drunk Vikings and two Blood Diamonds.
The Lowdown: Nwankwo follows in a distinguished line of Irish players with unpronounceable, consonant-laden surnames. His family is from Nigeria, and he was a very desirous prospect in the SEC, with offers from Florida, Florida State, Georgia, and Auburn. Nwankwo was a dominant force on both the offensive and defensive lines in high school, although he was primarily recruited to play OL in college. In recent weeks, there has been talk of Nwankwo playing DL at Notre Dame, although Weis stated in his signing day press conference that no final decision has been made on where he will play just yet. Essentially, he will have this season to try out both sides of the ball and see where his abilities and the team's needs put him. Bonus YouTube Footage: The original "Nigerian Nightmare", Christian Okoye breaks like a thousand tackles in Tecmo Super Bowl.

Andrew Nuss, DL, Ashburn, VA
	Height/Weight/40: 6'5", 285, 5.1
	Anagramaticus Says: "Warns Nudes"
	HRB Angry Drunk Viking Rating: Seven Angry Drunk Vikings and two handfulls of mixed nuts.
The Lowdown: I had a bit of fun at his expense back in June when he committed to Notre Dame, but hopefully he won't hold it against me, since he's, you know, really really big. Nuss was an early commitment to the Irish and never wavered in his commitment, which was a huge relief considering the craziness that went down with the rest of the class. Originally recruited as an offensive lineman, Nuss has confirmed that he will be switched over to defensive line for his college career. With the new defensive system in place and more opportunity to see the field faster on the defensive side, it seemed to be a pretty easy decision for Nuss. Bonus YouTube Footage: A commercial for "Golden Nuss Chocolate", complete with Univision cheesecake. Muy bueno.

Ian Williams, DT, Longwood, FL
	Height/Weight/40: 6'1", 290, 5.0
	Anagramaticus Says: "I am in a Swill"
	HRB Angry Drunk Viking Rating: Seven Angry Drunk Vikings and a spicy kielbasa.
The Lowdown: Coming into 2007, the biggest priority for the recruiting class was signinig a huge, aggressive natural defensive tackle. As great as the class of 2006 was, DT was the one roster spot that was empty, after the high-drama loss of Oklahoma DT Gerald McCoy. Williams' commitment, therefore, was a godsend, stepping into one of the biggest holes in the Irish depth chart. Another beefy prospect from the hotbed of talent in Florida, Williams will be a big part of the redesigned Irish defense in his years at Notre Dame. He's big and powerful, and at 6'1" will have more leverage to play on the inside in a 3-4 system than the other defensive linemen from this class who are all in the 6'5" range. . Bonus YouTube Footage: Get your patchouli stink outta my store, Ian!.

Kerry Neal, DE, Bunn, NC
	Height/Weight/40: 6'3", 230
	Anagramaticus Says: "Kernel Ray"
	HRB Angry Drunk Viking Rating: Seven Angry Drunk Vikings, a vampire, and a plate of Beenie Weenie.
The Lowdown: Kerry Neal was the first commitment in the class, pledging to the Irish nearly a year ago. His commitment came before evaluations and rankings for the class were finalized, so we hardly knew anything about him or his talent when he announced he would be playing for the Irish. However, the coaching staff must have seen something great in his tapes and decided to move in right away, as Neal eventually became a very highly-regarded prospect and the object of many late recruiting pushes by big-time programs. It's a huge testament to the hard work and dedication of the Notre Dame staff that they were able to identify Neal's upside and put the recruiting into top gear while every other college was sitting around talking about the class of 2006. Neal is a great player, but his value increases even more when you consider the new 3-4 defense that will be implemented next year. His size puts him at a bit of a "tweener" position in a 4-3 defense, and he would have to gain or lose weight to move to either a DE or LB position in Minter's system. However, in the 3-4, he is nearly the perfect prototype for an OLB/speed rusher position, and might very well be one of the first players in the class to make an immediate contribution. Bonus YouTube Footage: North Carolina, come on and raise up. Take your shirt off, and spin it around your head. Like a helicoter.

Welcome to the fold. The last six should be up tomorrow.

Your Class of 2007 Dogbook: Offense Skill Positions

There is a fine tradition at Notre Dame (although I'm not sure it's still going on, what with these crazy kids and their internets these days) called the "Freshman Register", which all alumns know by it's more endearing shorthand sobriquet: The Dogbook. A charming little guidebook you get when you register as a freshman that has a picture and short description of everyone in the freshman class. Suffice to say, it was incredibly useful in trolling for ass, stalking classmates, and verifying the fugliness of the girl you're about to be set up on a blind date with (hence the name).

Anyway, here's your recruiting class of 2007 Dogbook, complete with photos, a brief summary of the recruit, wisdom from the wise prophet Anagramaticus, and a bonus YouTube clip to illustrate the new player's impact. Big Uglies and Defense will be going up tomorrow.

Your Class of 2007 Dogbook: Offense Skill Positions

Jimmy Clausen, QB, Westlake Village, CA
	Height/Weight/40: 6'3, 195
	Anagramaticus Says: "Is Jammy Uncle"
	HRB Angry Drunk Viking Rating: Nine Angry Drunk Vikings, an artichoke, and a Zeppelin.
The Lowdown: The crowned prince of prep football, the lord, the savior, the allmighty. Without a doubt the most hyped recruit in ages, and, hand-in-hand with that overexposure comes crushingly impossible expectations and the derision of rival fans the world around. To his credit, Clausen is an extremely polished passer whose mechanics, arm strength, and precision are much more seasoned than one would ever expect from a strapping youngster. His biggest challenge will be to learn how to deal with the pressure and speed of the college game (Clausen played on a veritable All-Star team in a smallish conference in California, and thus was hardly ever hurried in his entire career) and to read more advanced defenses. Oh, there's also the challenge of living up to his ridiculously-overblown billing. All in all though, he will be the cornerstone of Charlie Weis' offense for several years. Will he be ready to take over the vacant QB job this offseason? Only time will tell. Clausen is an early enrollee who is currently practicing with the team, so he'll have all spring to compete for the job. Bonus YouTube Footage: "Jesus Walks" by Kanye West. It's just too easy to draw the comparison.

Robert Hughes, RB, Chicago, IL
	Height/Weight/40: 5'11, 228, 4.6
	Anagramaticus Says: "Huge Brothers"
	HRB Angry Drunk Viking Rating: Seven Angry Drunk Vikings and a Polish Sausage.
The Lowdown: Robert Hughes is a load. Think "charging buffalo", but with 4.6 speed. While Notre Dame has recruited its fair share of shifty finesse backs in recent years, there really has been an absence of a true power running back who is willing to get dirty between the tackles. Meet Robert Hughes. Hughes has great speed for the massive frame he carries, and was a holy terror in the Chicago Public league, laying waste to hapless defenders like the one pictured here. Securing Hughes' commitment was the first job of new Irish Defensive Coordinator Corwin Brown, who used his own connections with the CPL to earn the trust of Hughes. With the tailback position wide open, you can probably expect to see Hughes as a situational back when the sledding gets tough. Bonus YouTube Footage: A video of Robert Earl Hughes, a one-time record-holder for world's fattest man.

Armando Allen, RB, Hialeah, FL
	Height/Weight/40: 5'10", 185, 4.35
	Anagramaticus Says: "Mad, Anal Loner"
	HRB Angry Drunk Viking Rating: Eight Angry Drunk Vikings, a Habañero Pepper, and a Bitchiin' Alfa Romeo.
The Lowdown: Speed demon, through and through. Armando Allen had the fastest 40 time of any prospect last year, and runs an honest-to-god, non-wind-aided, non-hand-timed 4.35. The 40 is a fairly subjective and often misleading statistic, but rest assured that Armando is "play-tennis-against-yourself" fast. He also enrolled early, so he'll be a new face to watch for at the spring game. Allen played in one of Miami's roughest and most competitive conferences, and still managed to average nearly ten yards per touch. He's a home-run hitting breakaway threat. Bonus YouTube Footage: How fast is Armando Allen? Mount a camera on the front of a motorcycle and drive 190 MPH. That should begin to give you an idea.

Golden Tate, WR/Athlete, Hendersonville, TN
	Height/Weight/40: 6'0", 180, 4.4
	Anagramaticus Says: "Gentle Toad"
	HRB Angry Drunk Viking Rating: Seven Angry Drunk Vikings, a Habañero Pepper, and a Golden Globe Award.
The Lowdown: His name is Golden. His high school team used Notre Dame's uniforms and golden helmets. Is anybody surprised about his college decision? Tate has breakaway speed, great ball-hawking instincts, and so much raw athleticism that he can play just about any skill position he wants. He has officially signed as a receiver, but I wouldn't be surprised to see him switch over to cornerback for his college career, plus I'm sure he'll at least get a look at the kick returning squad as well. Tate is a big-time competitor, and apparently a bit of a prankster, too. Rumor has it he sent a text message to the coaching staff on National Signing Day advising he had withdrawn his commitment moments before faxing over his letter of intent. Now, that's a uniquely cruel joke considering what went down on signing day, but, hey, laughter is the best medicine. Bonus YouTube Footage: Jurassic 5's "What's Golden?". This is just too easy.

Duval Kamara, WR, Hoboken, NJ
	Height/Weight/40: 6'3", 190
	Anagramaticus Says: "Alarm a Kudva"
	HRB Angry Drunk Viking Rating: Seven Angry Drunk Vikings and two Indian Rhinoceri.
The Lowdown: Big, mean, and rangy. Originally, Notre Dame fans were excited about the prospect of adding Kamara, Arrelius Benn, and Greg Little to an unprecedentedly-awesome receiver haul, but Little jumped on signing day and Benn inexplicably went the way of the Zooker. However, Kamara is a huge prize and will become the top target in the receiving corps possibly right out of the gate, as there is currently a vacancy on the roster for a big, sure-handed receiving threat. Kamara committed all the way back in May, so the recruiting hype machine that escalates over the year never really got rolling for him. He is, however, one of the top receivers in the country and will be a huge asset during his career at Notre Dame. I can't wait to see him haul in his first jump-ball for a touchdown. Bonus YouTube Footage: Why is Duval such a kickass name? Because Robert Duvall kicks ass. I love the smell of napalm in the morning.

Mike Ragone, TE, Cherry Hills, NJ
	Height/Weight/40: 6'5", 230, 4.45
	Anagramaticus Says: "A Minor Geek"
	HRB Angry Drunk Viking Rating: Seven Angry Drunk Vikings, an African Elephant, and the Jersey Devil.
The Lowdown: Yet another Jersey kid signing with Coach Weis. It's impressive how Weis has turned the talent-rich state into a pipeline for Notre Dame. Of course, a stable of huge, athletic tight ends from New Jersey is becoming de rigueur at the Golden Dome, and Ragone is doing his part to keep the tradition alive. One of the nation's top tight end prospects, he has the size and speed to develop into a real presence in the midfield seams during his career. Bonus YouTube Footage: The Prides of New Jersey: The Boss, Athletic Notre Dame Tight Ends, and the Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

Welcome to the team, lads. Big Uglies and Defensive players will be up tomorrow (hopefully).